The automatic answer should be no. If it was, great! If not, I am not trying to take the fun out of everything and I am not just being sensitive. If you do not already know that jokes about 9/11 and the Holocaust are not okay, then know that if you get the sudden urge to joke about any terrorist attacks or war crimes, keep it inside. It is insensitive to those affected and involved. If that seems a little too obvious, fine, but it relates to what I am about to go into because it is those subtle rape jokes that people seem to think are funny.
Why are rape jokes not okay?
For starters, rape jokes are similar to joking about terrorist attacks or war crimes: joking about it is insensitive to those affected and involved.
There are many instances when comedians will make jokes about these situations. For example, Daniel Tosh: during his show he talked about how funny rape jokes are and when called out for it by an audience member, he said “wouldn’t it be funny if that girl got raped by like five guys? Like right now? What if a bunch of guys just raped her?” Tosh received a lot of criticism for this joke after a friend of that audience member posted it on Tumblr and it went viral.
In response to Tosh’s joke, comedien Louis CK argues that while rape is a horrible crime, “any joke about something bad is a positive thing” (Krassner, Paul). Joking about uncomfortable things is bound to make people laugh because of their own discomfort with the subject. It brings it into the light and gives people a comfortable place to talk about it, but at what cost?
In Canada, comedian Heather Jordan Ross hosts a comedy tour called “Rape is Real Everywhere.” This show allows Ross to joke about her own experiences being raped and allows other comedians who are also survivors to do so as well. The stage gives them a safe and fun way to talk about their experiences. The “survivors share their stories and poke fun at a society that has long marginalised the issue of sexual assault” (Kassam, Ashifa). It is a way for the survivors to take back their stories and joke about them. It is a way to look back on this situation, talk about it, and laugh rather than continue to be destroyed by what happened.
How is it different from any other comedians joking about rape? Those comedians probably do not have the experience of being raped. They are taking other people’s horrifying experiences and making a joke about it, but a lot of people do not understand what taking another person’s experience means to that person. If another person, especially a white man since they have more power in society, takes the narrative of rape and decides that it is a topic that is appropriate to use as a joke, then it becomes just that: a joke.
A friend argued with me the other day that rape jokes bring light to the issue of rape when most people would rather stay silent about it. To that, I said that joking about something is different than having a healthy, productive discussion. Rape is not a joke and making it one gives those jokes the power to further promote rape culture. If it is okay to joke about it, then it must be okay to do it.
Now I am sure many comedians, or anyone else who makes a rape joke, would argue that when they make those jokes they are not condoning rape, and I believe that. However, what about the people who are rapists, who think about raping people, who are terrible drunks with zero impulse control, or who just get off on controlling others in a way that could lead to rape, to a male or a female? They watch those comedy routines and they see everyone laughing and having a good time with it. Or, perhaps, they do not get the joke; they thought what the comedian said was serious. That comedian just talked about this person’s desires in a way that barely anyone else around him would dare to. That is not to say that other people besides comedians do not make rape jokes; the same rules apply. Should we cater our conversations to every psychopath and/or rapist out there? No, but remember that healthy, productive disccussion is different from offensive jokes.
I have never been raped and I do not know anyone who has been. The only information about rape I get is through health class, second-hand stories, or the media, but I am still offended by rape jokes because rape culture is a problem and we as a society have to start treating it like one and not making a joke out of it.
Of course, there is more than just jokes that promotes rape culture; we have all of the modern-day media in the world to help with that. Do not listen to songs that brag about rape, do not watch movies or tv shows that do it either. Do not buy things from companies that objectify women or men in ads and definitely do not make a joke out of rape when it is not your story to joke about.