I have my fair share of experience with long distance relationships. After my high school relationship, which turned into a long distance relationship of being ten hours away from each other, I swore I would never get myself into another LDR again. I didn’t understand how anyone could make a long distance relationship work! I was sure I would find a boyfriend at Fairfield eventually, but no. Where am I now? In another long distance relationship…
I’ve been dating my boyfriend Matt for nine months now. We met when he was visiting one of my friends here last spring semester (they went to high school together) and it’s been history ever since. I go to Fairfield University (obviously) and he goes to UMass Amherst, which is around two to three hours away. I’m from Long Island and he’s from Beverly, Massachusetts, so the distance is even further when we’re at home, making it five to six hours. We were both skeptical of our relationship at first, knowing we would have to commit to a full-time long distance relationship. We have it harder than most couples, but we make it work better than I ever could have imagined. I’m here to tell you what people don’t about long distance relationships.
1. It’s like riding an emotional rollercoaster. Some days are fine, but other days you miss your significant other like crazy and crave their presence. You will get jealous of all of the couples you see on campus and think, “Why can’t that be me!?” LDRs can really mess with your mind and no one will warn you of that before you get yourself into one.
2. Technology will be your new best friend. Communication is key in relationships, making FaceTime and phone calls super important. Text messages are often misleading and cause the dumbest fights (I know from personal experience). It’s also nice to hear your significant other’s voice every once in a while since you aren’t lucky enough to hear it everyday. I guess technology can be your worst enemy too when the school Wi-Fi decides not to cooperate!
3. There is a really good chance that your friends might not support your decision to be in a long distance relationship. They may think it’s irrational and they may ask if putting yourself through a long distance relationship is worth it. Some may think you’ll waste your college years not having fun, going out, and experiencing the hook up culture of today’s youth. Trust me: don’t listen to them. You have to do what’s best for YOU!
4. It’s expensive. Amtrak, Greyhound, Megabus. Whatever you chose to take to visit your boyfriend isn’t cheap. Buying tickets in advance definitely helps since as the date gets closer the prices go up. Save your money because you’ll be buying a lot of bus tickets or train tickets depending on where your significant other goes to school or lives. Even with these expenses, I try to think of traveling as a new, fun experience. You get to explore a new place with the one you love.
5. I hate to break it to you, but it will not get easier with time. You can be dating two months or two years and the goodbyes are hard either way. Knowing when you are going to see each other next usually helps me the most.
6. Being in a long distance relationship matures you. It’s all a learning experience. In the last nine months, I feel as if I have grown so much from my mistakes and experiences my relationship has put me through. You become independent in a new way. You have more time to focus on schoolwork, which is extremely important for both your future and your SO’s future.
7. Long distance makes you realize if you are really meant to be with your boyfriend. Through all the ups and downs of long distance, if you make it through all the bad days and have more good days, you are sure to be perfect when distance is no longer a factor.
8. You always have something to look forward to. The visits to my boyfriend’s school are almost like mini vacations. Counting down the days until I see my boyfriend helps me get through the stressful days of college. It’s nice to get away from my own dorm room every once in a while!
9. Seeing your significant other after a long period of time is probably the best feeling ever. As cheesy as it may sound, I love jumping into my boyfriend’s arms as soon as I see him. Knowing you’re together at last and made it yet another month is amazing.
10. Long distance relationships are definitely worth it if you love each other. You have to keep in mind that the distance is only temporary. Long distance relationships can be a beautiful experience as long as you let them be! Distance means very little when someone means so much to you. Being away from someone you care so much about will make you realize how much you really do love him or her.