University; some would call the biggest scam out there! Mountains of debt, mountains of free time and sadly mountains of loneliness.
“Uni is the best time of your life!”
“It’s a breeze compared to A-levels”
“You’ll fall in love”
“Fresher’s is the craziest week of your life!”
Wrong, nope, still waiting, cannot agree.
I mean uni is great, it is, but it is also shit, and scary and lonely and daunting and tiring and insanely intense. Being a student is built up to be so much more than studying for a degree, which is not wrong; you mature, learn many a life lesson and truth be told have some cracking times, just not like, erryday.
It’s Mental Health Awareness week here at Her Campus, and I thought I’d take the opportunity to say what, I think and hope everyone else feels sometimes that uni ain’t all that wild and crazy, sometime it is just you, sat in a cold, dirty kitchen, crying because your bolognaise just doesn’t taste like your Mums. But, it’s all gonna be okay. University, for many of us, is always the end goal, we drag ourselves through GCSEs, IB, A Levels all to get into our first choice unis, and with this great anticipation comes even greater social pressures!
I’m sure we’ve all encountered the quotes above when discussing uni and yet it’s all so subjective and in many cases, untrue. Take Fresher’s week, it’s a complete gamble if you gel with your flatmates, depends on the city you’re in, the halls, your interests, what you enjoy, literally every variable you can think of! And so when you’re sat, watching snapchats and insta stories going up of all your friends having a crazy time at their unis, you begin to feel inadequate, like you’ve failed and you don’t belong. But what is so important to remember, is 1, social media is a hoax, we all love it, we can’t lie, but doesn’t mean anything. Secondly, you are good enough, you are valid and everyone has down days!
But the hardest thing is to get you out of that rut, waking up the next day and forcing yourself to get out of bed, walk into the kitchen, grimy as it may be, go to uni and believe today is a new day. So, we’ve come up with some top tips to help you kick that loneliness where it hurts!
- Say YES; the oldest trick in the book, but the truest of them all. Do something new, speak to people, agree to go to events, just being busy and out the house can make you feel so much better and so much more part of something, you have a role, you have a purpose and you’re valued!
- Know your LIMITS; perhaps slightly contrary to number 1, it’s imperative you know how far you can push yourself, let your hair down, be free and wild and all that jazz, but stay in control. Peer pressure, societies, even social norms can force us all to do things we’re not really okay with, so push yourself, but take care of yourself.
- TALK to people; don’t shut everyone out. We all like our down time, time to our self to watch Netflix and shut the world out, but don’t become a recluse, because it will only make you feel worse. Even if it’s ringing your family and friends back at home, just remember to talk about your feelings and if you feel comfortable enough, opening up to people at uni could build the foundations of a great friendship and trust me, you will not be alone in your thoughts.
Uni life, is just life, it’s up, it’s down and it’s all around. But try your best to embrace it and as my Mother always says, it’s ‘character building’. Stay with it guys and gals, you got this!