Let’s face it, none of us were looking forward to November. Approaching essay deadlines have transformed into ominous stalkers, following you throughout your day and covering every vaguely fun or unproductive thing you do in the shadow of guilt. The dark mornings and evenings make you feel continually exhausted. Your student house is freezing but not quite freezing enough for the luxury of turning the heating on yet. Your bank balance is in a worse state than Greece’s public finances and it just won’t stop raining. November is making you miserable. And chances are if you’re in a relationship your partner is miserable too.
But instead of letting your busy schedule, mild hypothermia and winter blues turn your relationship into a neglected, rotting corpse, use it as an escape from all the chaos, stress and terrible weather. November, being the month before December, obviously makes it acceptable to watch Love Actually again, so take some time to get into the romantic mood and have a look at our HCX tips to stop your relationship frosting over this winter.
Me, myself and I.
It may seem a little odd to suggest indulging in some alone time within the context of relationship advice but trust us it makes sense. You won’t enjoy spending time with your partner as much if you’re still stressing about that essay, or feeling miserable and blue. So before even thinking about anything or anybody else, take some time for yourself; spend an evening relaxing in your own company, doing exactly what you want to do. Get the ingredients in for your favourite meal, have a relaxing bath, pamper yourself a bit, snuggle up in bed and watch your favourite movie. Do something that is exclusively and luxuriously for you. Trust us you’ll feel much better afterwards!
Date Night.
Going on a date may seem blatantly obvious but it’s surprising how quickly it can fall to the bottom of the To-Do list when other things seem more important. When you’re both busy and tired it can be easy to fall into a routine of lazy sleepovers and when you’re strapped for cash the thought of going out together can become more daunting that exciting. But taking some time out and doing something different together can really help to shake off those mid-term relationship blues. Original dates don’t have to be expensive; why not have a day off from the library and get the train to Exmouth for the day. The sea side can be beautiful this time of year and fish and chips aren’t going to break the bank but can be just as romantic as an expensive meal. Or plan a walk into the countryside or down to the Quay and have a cheap and cheerful pub lunch.
If you’ve got a bit more cash to spend (lucky you) there are loads of great restaurants in Exeter, HCX suggest trying somewhere new. Al Farid in the Cathedral square or Jasmine Thai are great places to start.
A Proper Night in.
Instead of going out for a date you could organise a proper date night at home; not just turning up at one another’s house tired and ready for bed. Start the evening early; plan a meal and cook together, or each cook a dish. Pick a film and see if you can nab the living room off your housemates for the evening, alternatively snuggle up in bed and watch it there. We’re not clichéd enough to suggest you should dress up for the evening or anything drastic, but maybe something nicer than tracksuit bottoms and shower-wet hair (that goes for him too!).
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Sex.
Unheated student houses can mean that stripping down to anything less than fluffy socks, pj’s and a hoodie to get into bed is akin to diving into an ice bath. This combined with the feeling of constant essay induced fatigue can kick “being a sex-goddess” all the way off the priorities list. But if anything, November is the time it should be top of your priorities list. Sex is proven to help reduce stress and, depending on how energetic you are, should mean you don’t need the heating on in the bedroom anyway.
Here at HCX we rarely need an excuse to buy some new lingerie, but if you do then you can convince yourself that splashing a little (or a lot of) cash on lacy, silky, and downright unpractical underwear isn’t for you, but for the good of your relationship. Just to clarify here HCX are not suggesting that you spend a sizeable chunk of your student loan on some slightly seedy nylon you think your boyfriend will find sexy, which is likely to only make you feel uncomfortable and awkward. We’re suggesting that you spend a sizeable chunk of your student loan on beautiful, figure enhancing, down-right-stunning lingerie that YOU feel sexy in. Good fitting, confidence boosting underwear that makes you feel like Dita von Teese in the bedroom is priceless. (please note this is NOT a financial advice article).
But if you are actually being responsible with your finances (selfishly refusing to help boost the UK high street) then there are other ways to give yourself (and your partner) a bit of a mid-term boost. You could both talk openly about what you find interesting and what you think you’d both be comfortable trying. Have a think about ways you could BOTH do something different. Set some time aside; it may sound stupid and boring to plan having sex but when you’re both busy you’ll inevitably benefit and there’s nothing wrong with a bit of anticipation!
Long Distance.
If you’re in a long distance relationship then the mid-term relationship blues can be even worse. Needless to say, if you can, try and fit in time to visit each other during November. Even if you’re busy planning a trip or a day or two isn’t just something you’ll look forward too but will motivate you to work harder before it and you’ll come back feeling refreshed and ready to get on with more work (whoop!).
But if you really can’t get to see each other then there are other ways to try and shake the blues. Plan a long Skype date; set an evening aside when you have no other plans or distractions. Often it’s not enough to just snatch a few minutes here or an hour there.
Use the post system! Send an actual hand written letter instead of an email. Surprise each other with little post cards or small, inexpensive thoughtful gifts. They might seem trivial but they can really brighten up your day, particularly when they’re unexpected.
Photo credits: www.123rf.com; loveactually; thebeehiveblog.net; fantom-xp.com