Men. Somehow simultaneously the best and worst thing in life. They are the pizza and chocolate of the human world, in that we alway seem to want what’s unhealthy for us. Here at HCX we’ve been through our fair share of idiotic men, but every cloud has a silver lining, because we have definitely learnt from our many, many mistakes. So in order to share our wisdom with the world, we have compiled together our ultimate list of men to avoid, and men that we think are worth giving it a go with. After all whoever said love was easy…
The Ones to Avoid
The Show off
We all know this guy. Life and soul of the party (or at least he claims to be) – he loves nothing more than being the centre of attention. A good song comes on – there he is strutting around telling everyone to copy his ‘sick’ moves. Or you’re having a conversation with someone and suddenly he’ll be there, telling you how that story reminds him of a similar time with him and his best mate. Maybe you’ll be having drinks with him and he’ll randomly whack out his phone – showing you photos of his six pack (though really he’s definitely stretching it calling it a six pack). Everything, and we do mean everything, always seems to come back to him. It can often be easy with this guy, to get swept away by his charisma, and it’s easy to convince yourself he’s great… but don’t be fooled – the only reason you think he’s so great is because he keeps telling you that he is. This guy often has no time for anyone else besides himself. Egocentric, selfish and arrogant; he is definitely one we recommend keeping as far away from as possible from.
The ‘I’m such a LAD’
The ‘Lad’ is the type of guy who can often be seen lurking around on dance floors, strawpaedoing a bottle of red wine (ewww), while typically chanting some kind of mindless monosyllabic nonsense – often along the lines of ‘eyyyyyyyyy’. The ‘Lad’ is someone who we somehow find ourselves inexplicably drawn to on nights out – perhaps it’s their cockiness, perhaps it’s their ability to walk up to girls and start outrageously flirting. We don’t know, but either way the ‘Lad’ is definitely one to avoid. Often arrogant, immature and a bit of a player, the ‘Lad’ knows how to work his way around the room. If a guy is treating you like a bit on the side, then get out of there while you can because as Taylor Swift says ‘ a new notch in your belt is all I’ll ever be’ – and anyone who treats you like this isn’t worth the time of day.
The Zero Effort Guy
Now this guy is surprisingly difficult to keep away from. This is the guy that your friends constantly tell you is no good – and yet you can’t seem to tear yourself away from him. Why? Because you have to admit that you’re enthralled by the chase. The zero effort guy is charming, kind and sweet…but only ever in texts. This is the guy who tells you everything you want to hear, but never actually does anything. The phrase ‘actions speak louder than words’ springs to mind here, and if we’ve learnt anything over the years it’s to pay attention to what guys do instead of what they say. He may make your heart melt when he tells you that you’re beautiful, but if he can’t ultimately be bothered to go on an actual date with you, message you first or even pick up the phone for a chat, then run like the wind away from him because you deserve someone who will actually treat you like the catch you are.
The Flirt
Perhaps the most dangerous of all – the flirt is the guy who is able to make the biggest impression on you. Smooth, suave, and a great talker – the flirt makes you feel totally special and loved. We’ve all been there, we’ve spent hours reading over the adorable messages he’s sent, we’ve spent many an evening telling our friends how perfect he is for us – how he’s not like any guy we’ve met before. Yes, we’ve all blushed and smiled as he’s told us how beautiful we are. It all seems to be going perfectly. But then you start to notice things; when he’s with you he keeps talking about how ‘hot’ other women are, you can’t help but notice him flirting with other women right in front of you, and whenever you’re walking with him, it’s impossible to walk two steps without him eyeing up other women. In short, this guy is a complete tool. Don’t let yourself get down about him, or let yourself become upset and thinking you’re not good enough for him, because this is definitely not true. If a guy can’t see what’s right in front of him, then he’s a complete and utter fool. Don’t waste any more time with this guy and his slick texts and one liners – chances are you’re not the only one getting this treatment. If a guy can’t commit to you or see as something worth holding onto, then walk away.
The Ones to Go For
The Good Friend
The ‘friendzone’ is a term often batted around by men. There are countless memes, videos and statuses all over social media criticising women for sticking men in the friend zone – and yet we deny it. But maybe there is some truth to those accusations – if we’re all completely honest with ourselves – have we not (at least once) said something along the lines of ‘why can’t all guys be like you’ to one of our male friends? We know that we have. So why not actually give it a go? We know there’s the whole ‘it could ruin our friendship’ side to things – but if there’s a genuine spark and he really cares about you, then what have you got to lose? You could be missing out on something amazing. We often make a list in our heads of things we want from a guy and yet when we meet someone we get along with, have a laugh with and love being with – we ignore it, and them. So if you have a friend in your life that just gets you like no one else does, why not take a second look and see if there’s anything more than friendship beneath the surface?
The Guy Back Home
While it may have seemed statistically impossible when you first got here, it’s actually very difficult to meet people at uni. When you’ve eventually met everyone in your seminars, societies and friendship groups, it almost seems impossible to meet new guys. But don’t despair. A lot of people go through their whole uni life without a boyfriend, and it’s nothing to be ashamed of. If you don’t meet the right person for you at uni, that’s fine – Mr. Right will be waiting around another corner for you. Don’t be afraid to meet people when you’re back for the holidays, and don’t write off that crush from back home. After all, uni doesn’t last forever and your prince may be closer to home than you think
The One Who’s Not Your Type
We’re all guilty of it – every single one of us. People ask us what our ideal guy is and straight away we have this incredibly specific image in our head; tall, blonde, brown eyes, a little bit of stubble, he plays the piano, has a dog called Penny, loves ice skating and spends his weekends practising his mixology skills. While it’s always fun to dream, what’s important here is not to let your ‘ideal’ man start to ruin your perspective. Be careful not to become so obsessed with your ‘type’ that you miss out on someone amazing. Often the guys who surprise you the most are the ones who you never expected to like in the first place. We may like to think we know what we want, but when it comes to love, all bets are off.
The One Who You Think Is Out Your League
It’s Monday night, you’re at Arena in your fab new dress and you’re incredibly impressed with yourself for not being a drunken mess (yet). So you’re smugly dancing around with your friends, having a great time, when you look up and notice something: right in front of you is a sex god. The hair, the smile, the eyes, the muscles – he is Adonis in the flesh. You immediately turn to your friends and point him out, and are met with a chorus of ‘go talk to him’, ‘dance with him’, ‘go on.’ But you don’t. Instead you shake your head and say something along the lines of ‘he’s too good looking’. So many of us constantly put ourselves down, thinking we’re not good enough or pretty enough for some guys. But this is not true. Stop putting yourself down and start seeing yourself for what you truly are; a gorgeous, hilarious, smart, unique person who anyone would be proud to be with. So next time you’re in the library, or a bar, or a club and see someone that you think is ‘out your league’ – push that thought away and go and talk to them – and start embracing yourself as the fabulous, wonderful person you are.