Whilst not all break-ups are hysterical emotional free for alls, many do involve copious amounts of Ben and Jerrys, traditional chick flicks and often supportive and sympathetic shoulders to cry on. It is undoubtedly a heartbreaking time for the estranged, newly single friend. However, it is also realistically quite a trying time for the ever caring and compassionate BFF who probably has seen all the ups and downs of the relationship in full detail once already!
Although we want to be completely and utterly 100% there for our girlfriends it is sometimes tiring to continuously wipe tears and hear all about Mr Not so Perfect. However, this does not mean you should jump ship and wait for the storm to pass! Here at HCX we have compiled a set of guidelines or etiquette regarding the proper way to handle a friend’s unfortunate break-up.
- Always be around for a good old fashioned re-hashing of their relationship:
This may seem like an obvious pointer. However, although this form of support is often uninteresting, it is perhaps the most fundamental way to support a break up. It is healthy to let all your emotions out and not to leave them all bottled up. So when your friend looks a little bit weepy, encourage her to talk about how upset she is. Listen to her analyse the entire relationship, as this is a great form of therapy! Although this may get tiring, especially when you hear the same story over and over again, remember this is important for your friend, so be there for her. You never know, it soon might be your turn to rehash a broken relationship so try and be as sympathetic as possible.
2. Provide the tissues, a shoulder and most importantly the ice cream!
The two men in HCX’s life who have never let them down are Ben and Jerry. Ice cream is a great solution for almost any boy-related problem, so indulge. All the sobbing is exhausting so you need to keep your energy up! Another necessary accessory to a break up is the ‘shoulder to cry on’. It may sound simple, but a solid pillow of kindness such as your shoulder will always be much appreciated.
- Do not encourage acts of rebellion:
Whilst often the thought of getting back in the game seems tempting, do not encourage your friend to go out and kiss as many boys as possible before she is ready. Although this may provide a momentary rush of adrenalin or sense of excitement often these schemes are foolish and end up with, dare I say, even more tears. Healing is a long process and the most important factor is time, so remember to take it slow!
- Try to keep your friend busy so she doesn’t dwell
Getting the balance between wallowing and healing is often difficult. Allowing your friend to wallow in a sea of self-pity for too long will not be constructive, so arrange some fun activities to do together. Retail therapy is always fun but can get pretty expensive. Free activities such as keeping active and fit are a great solution to a break up – not only will she feel great due to a rush of endorphins but she’ll have a hot bod to be proud of. Set your friend a goal and before you know it she will be back to her normal, happy self.
- Finally, do NOT expect a reward for your kindness!
Whilst you may have been the most supportive and sympathetic friend in the world and it may have been a tiring time for you, remember this is what friends are for! Ultimately you are her friend, so don’t expect her to repay your kindness- its all part of the girl code!
There are definitely some dos and don’ts of the post break-up scenario. However the crucial component is simply to be there for her. Etiquette will only take you so far, so just remember a BFF is there through the good times and the bad.
Photo Credits: inquisitr.com, womensavers.com