I got a message from one of my guy friends who I haven’t heard from since classes started a couple weeks ago. He has an evening class and walks by my apartment to go home and asked if he could stop to hangout. I asked if he would have eaten dinner yet or if I should have something for him and he said he would love to have dinner with me. Do you think this counts as a date or just a friend saying hi?
In this situation it sounds like it’s just a friend stopping in to say hi, unless of course he says differently. I would take his cues as to if this is a date or not but because of the spontaneity of it I wouldn’t call it a date. If this becomes a weekly thing then maybe it will turn into a date! For now I would just keep it cool and casual as friends and see what happens.
I’ve been dating my boyfriend for four months but he was with his previous girlfriend for six years (they’ve been broken up for almost two years now). Last week he was talking to a friend and heard his ex’s voice in the background and kinda lost it. He became upset and started freaking out. They had a bad breakup and that was the first time he had heard her since he left her after finding out she was cheating. After a little bit of talking to him on the phone (we live about 3 hours apart) he seemed to calm down. I went and saw him that weekend and while we were messing around in bed he said her name. He immediately got out of bed and was upset and angry at himself for doing it and said he’s going to talk to a counselor about it because he doesn’t want it to happen again. I didn’t hear him so I didn’t understand what was wrong until he finally told me. I’m not angry about it because she appeared in his life very suddenly after not being around and I think that threw him off. I’m worried he still isn’t over his ex. Do you think I’m a rebound?
Okay, well from the sounds of things (assuming you’ve had no other issues) he was overwhelmed from hearing her when he was least expecting it. I’m not saying what he did was okay but being with someone that long and having it end badly can really effect a person. I’ve been cheated on so I know what that feels like and it sucks, big time. I think it’s probably a good thing he talk to someone who can maybe give him some better insight on why that may have happened. I don’t think you’re a rebound for him. It’s been a pretty long time since they were together so I doubt you would be considered a rebound. He may not be over his ex but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t care about you. Since you’ve taken this situation so well I think that shows how much you care about him and want him to be okay.
Someone decided they didn’t want to be a part of my life about a year ago. They just reached out to me today and I don’t want to completely shut them out but I don’t know to what extent to open up. I decided to get all the negativity out of my life and I don’t know if this would bring those negative vibes back in. I’ve started to figure out my life and really don’t want to back track.
This sounds like there is a more complicated back story to it. I wouldn’t jump right back to where you were but I don’t think you should shut them out if they are taking the effort to contact you. I’d suggest talking to them for a few days and see why they reached out. From there you can decide how comfortable you are letting them in and if that would bring those negative vibes back. People change and mature so something may have happened where they realized they lost a good friend and want to apologize and try and make up.
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