Struggling is a part of life and on more than one occasion you’ll find yourself in the driver seat of life’s struggle bus. I bet most of you are thinking that the struggle has been even more real since school started in August. At least you are not alone in wishing you had dropped that one extra class/seminar/lab/lecture/recitation/discussion/etc. when you had the chance. #RIPdropadd Now you’re stuck with it until finals week in December. *Cue the Macaulay Culkin* However, don’t fret because Fedner’s survival guide is full of nifty tricks, secrets, and revelations to get you through those endless Fall Semester classes. Whether it’s Medieval Cross Dressing 101 or the new seminar on twerking, Miley Cyrus: Modern Day Strumpet, we have a survival tactic for you.
Here are my top five survival tactics for surviving those classes that seem to never end. Necessary tools: laptop, imagination, and a professor who does not wander around the classroom.
5. Skype your bestie
Not many of us are blessed enough to attend college with our bestie from home. In fact, mine is currently toiling away in Florida, which is over 600 miles from Duke! A great use of in-class “free time” (some people call this lecture time, but they are wrong) is to Skype your bestie. Obviously, you cannot use the microphone feature but you can make use of the texting space and send a little love letter to your amigo/a. There are three great pros to this modus operandi.
1. You can catch up on all the gossip you have not shared since parting ways in August.
2. Share the pain of a boring lecture – yes, I am telling you to force your friends to sit through an endless class with you. It is the least they can do, especially since you are taking the time to Skype them.
3. Seeing a loved one. Phone calls are great, but there is something about seeing your best friend’s face that makes you the happiest fool in the world. If you’re ever stuck in a class, whip out the laptop and start taking “notes”… You won’t regret it.
4. Facebook
This method has helped thousands get through a variety of classes. Nothing really has to be said about the multitude of time passing activities it offers. From the casual photo stalking of your favorite celeb to the casual photo stalking of randos who pop up in your newsfeed, Facebook has it all. Facebook’s oldie but goodie status does come with a few setbacks. Primarily, it’s easily recognizable. Any teacher with mediocre eyesight can easily recognize Facebook’s iconic blue and white color scheme. Secondly, Facebook lacks the enthusiasm necessary to hold your attention (kind of like the class). We go on Facebook so many times a day that what we’re going to see is no longer much of a surprise. Even if you are still in love with the innate narcissism of Facebook, the very friends you’d message to draw you out of the cornucopia of boredom currently surrounding the class may be in their own classes, diligently working the day away. Facebook does have its limits, but it’s decent enough to make the list of our survival hints, tips, and life hacks.
3. Online Shopping
This survival tip is probably my favorite on the list. Especially with the back-to-school and end-of-summer sales, shopping at your favorite clothing boutique just became the new it-thing to do during class. Take it from a closet shopaholic: the 40% off sales, free shipping for orders over $100, and buy one get one free deals are more than able to keep you awake during class. Some of my favorite classes have been the ones where I bought a whole new outfit (undies included). I will caution you to remember to buy your textbooks first before you go too crazy. Otherwise you’ll have some splainin’ to do.
2. BuzzFeed Articles
BuzzFeed features a variety of articles on absolutely anything and everything. No really, I mean ANYTHING from “22 Times When Harry Potter’s Bitch Face Was Better Than Yours” and “23 Reasons Practicing Yoga Is Better Than Sex” to an explanation of the Syria conflict using gifs from The Hills and a scintillating article on “19 People Who Are Doing Snapchat Just Right.” You honestly cannot go wrong with BuzzFeed. These articles will keep you entertained throughout the driest, longest, and most boring classes but be warned, LOLing is a continuous side effect of BuzzFeed articles. In addition, be warned of anyone who can see your computer because their uncontrollable laughter can lead to your demise.
1. Pay Attention
Let’s be real, we go to Duke University, and top 10 universities don’t come with cakewalk classes. We knew coming in that it would be a struggle, so maybe the least we can do is pay attention during our classes. Our professors are experts in their field and our parents just spent an average of $54k on a year of education. Why waste it? Like Sweet Brown once eloquently said, “Ain’t nobody got time for that” and Lord knows the rent is too damn high for us to be squandering money.
I hope these survival tactics help you, well, survive. Take it from a constant class napper, it ain’t cute being called out for sleeping in class. Your professors will run the gambit of ignoring you, poking you, and (my favorite) throwing things at you. My final piece of advice to you? Don’t fall asleep in class, cause you will get pregnant and die.