Springtime has always been a time to reinvent yourself and the way you assess relationships with people. Instead of being high strung and attached to the first person you meet, just know that there’s a lot more to it than you think.
As you scroll through Tinder or wander every cute person’s Facebook feed, you cannot just come to the conclusion that every guy or girl is going to feel the same way, and that’s totally okay. As annoying as it is, to like someone who doesn’t entirely figure it out or who just isn’t interested in that way, it’s important to realize that it may be for the better to at least stay friends. Here’s why:
1. Friendships ultimately last longer.
If there’s one thing I’ve realized, it’s that I’d rather be friends with the people I like then nothing at all. Having someone in my life means more than losing them to miscommunicated emotions.
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2. You’ll be happy having that person in your life more.
There are no limits when you know that you can talk to the person and not have any “history” in the way. When a relationship goes bad, communication is usually broken forever. Friends remain in contact and you won’t regret it.
3. You can actually act and be yourself without the gushy crap.
People get too caught up in the way they look or what they say when they’re trying to “woo” or impress the other person. Being friends means you don’t have to worry about that useless and socially constructed behavior.
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4. You can connect more because you aren’t distracted by the gushy crap.
Since you can focus on the conversation and the other person more, and not yourself, you may find that the person has things you never knew about them and you can be more present in the conversation doing so.
5. It may lead into something else…eventually.
Who knows, maybe this “being just friends” thing works out in the end. That’s our hope, amirite?
6. You might figure out they’re not the right person you thought.
Or maybe, all of this “friend talk” leads you to a conclusion you never saw before in the person and you get closure or an understanding of why they feel the way they do or why you feel differently.
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7. You don’t create assumptions about them.
The beautiful thing about friendships is that it isn’t viewed as “oh, could they be a future partner or soulmate,” but more as “I’d like to get to know you more as a friend or person”. If they’re not who you thought they were, then all is good because you’re “just friends”.
8. The commitment is much less pressured.
Not being a thing is great because you don’t have to worry about little things that make you assume and over-analyze a situation. If they’re busy, they’re busy. Nothing more. You don’t even have to think twice about it because they still have that good and positive friendship with you anyway.
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9. Being their friend is better than being their ex.
Face it, you’d rather be a friend than ex number 5. You also don’t want the gossip that comes with it.
10. You get a chance to start over.
Forcing yourself into romance hinders our ability to see ourselves as capable and worthy. The worst thing to do when it comes to relationships is that we forget to move on with our lives and other hopes and dreams. We get a chance to refresh and catch up when we decide to be friends.
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I don’t want this to be a bash on people who are in relationships or anything, but I do want this to be a flick on the head for some people who are dwelling on what could or could not be—because I definitely need to realize this.
Friendship is one of the greatest things to have with a person and sometimes it’s for the better. There’s always hope when you’re being a friend, so leave the impression you want them to think of you as.