‘Nice Niamh’ is something I am forever listening to and bored of. Although I am a great advocate for kindness and loving people, I don’t know how to love myself, it’s a strange concept for me, in fact I feel anxious writing about it. 2017, was a hard year, I lost a loved one, and unfortunately it is nobody fault, that is how life goes. It makes us into a stronger and independent person. However, since that loss, I felt invisible, as though there was apart of me missing. Who am I, I thought? My Donegal Mammy is forever telling me that my heart is too big and to save some for myself, I care too deeply for others and leave very little for myself. Well, I have decided, I am going to give myself a good chunk of my heart for 2018, I am going to be selfish and try to love and let’s say re-discover myself. Here is how I am going to do this.
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Remove Negativity Talk About Myself:
I am an extremely self-conscious person inside and out. I am blessed to have beautiful friends and family who tell me daily positive things about myself, however, I think you must tell yourself those things in order for you to believe it. This year I’ve decided to do positive affirmations about myself which my housemate Emily advised me to do. Every morning I look in the mirror and tell myself out loud traits that I like about myself, for example, ‘I like my hair’, ‘I like my makeup today’ or ‘I like my eyes’. So far it has been tough and cringe, because I don’t really feel comfortable saying such things about myself, but slowly but surely, I will get there and be happier within myself. In the evening before bed, I also write down five things which I am grateful for. Negativity will become a distant memory.
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Open Up:
I am shy, there is no denying that. I love and admire my friends, they are crazy, loving and just adorable, wouldn’t change them for the world. I guess forever being in that category of being Shy Shields, I tend to pretend to my friends that everything is all rainbows and sunshine, when in fact sometimes, not always, there is a bit of rain and dark clouds. I am the Mammy of my friend group, I love listening to my friends, their problems and help fix them. However, my friend Meadhbh pointed out to me that I never help myself or take my own advice. So, with that I decided to rant to my friends about the pretty and the ugly aspects of my life and you know what, it feels good! I’m not longer alone with my own thoughts. It actually has made me even closer to my friends.
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Go out more and Socialise:
Ah nervous Niamh, the girl who gets tongued tied and extremely sweaty palms when talking to people. My self esteem is VERY low. I envy my confident pals, like Shane, Tara and Ali, I want to know their secret. But I guess, the trick is to be yourself and stop hiding away. I am very guilty of locking myself in my room, not heading out and watching endless Eastenders. You’re looking at a girl who hasn’t been in Coppers. Well semester 2, I will be introducing myself to new people and having a boogie on the dancefloor, self-conscious free!
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HAVE FUN
Stressful Shields is another name for me, exciting names to describe myself, I know. My college friends like to describe me 99% stressed and 1% relaxed. I am forever stressing about something, well not as much this year in 2018. College work always gets done, not everyone in this world is going to like you, like isn’t your typical Disney fairy-tale, you don’t need a lover to complete you. Deal with it Shieldsy! You just need to be happy and have FUN! 2018, is going to be jammed packed with fun, travelling and memories of a life time.
It’s daunting, I am somewhat scared of getting out of my comfort zone, but it’s a challenge I am willing to accept, join me.
2018 of self- love, come at us.
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