Recently I made a call to one of the orthodontics in Huntersville. I was asking about a bracket removal procedure. The lady hung up the phone on me. I called her back and asked: “Excuse me, did you just hang up the phone on me?”
The lady replied: “Yes, I wasn’t understanding what you were saying.”
I asked her: “What do you don’t understand? Also, you, as a receptionist, have no right to hang up me. You should have asked me to repeat myself.”
She hung up on me again.
Another time, I was talking to a group of boys at Davidson College. They were so amused by my accent. One of the boys turned around and asked his friend: “Is that her real accent or a speech impediment?”
I also remember one professor at Davidson College told me that “When others don’t understand you, you have to look back at yourself. It’s your fault that others don’t understand you!”
HMMMM…
I was wondering. That professor is not from this country. He has an accent. But for some reason, his European accent is more understandable and acceptable than my Asian accent. American people love European accents. One time, I heard a white girl said: “I love her. Her English accent is my life.” Or “She is so cute. Her accent is adorable.”
But, for me and my people, we receive humiliation, insults, and shame for how our English is affected by our native tongues.
One time, my classmate mimicked her Vietnamese manicurist’s accent. My face was red. I was wondering if the lady she made fun of is my mom. Even if it was some random person, I still felt that she attacked and degraded me personally. At that moment, I just want to rip off her nails, the beautiful product that she paid for so that she could degrade a culture, an identity, a race, and a human being.
A lot of people told me that improving my accent would help me a lot in the future. I would get a better job, people would understand me better, and It’s would help me a lot for my law career. Don’t you think that I know that? I have been in this country for five years. I was in the top ten percent of my graduating class. I graduated with High Honors. I was the president of several clubs. It took me four years to learn what the people who made fun of me took12 years to learn? And, I go to Davidson College, a school that even many who were born here couldn’t get into.
The reason for my accomplishments is I have been really hard on myself. The moment I walk out my mom’s house, I play the game. I dress differently, speak differently, and behave differently. I have worked hard for what I have earned. Let me make it clear. I am not successful because I am a minority nor a woman of color. I worked hard and I am intelligent.
If you met me last year, two years before, or even earlier, you could see the improvement in my English. The point is, I know where I am and I try to move forward every day. I know what I need to improve and work on to be successful? I don’t need you to tell me what I need to do in order to navigate the system, your system.
I have an Asian accent, and I am proud of it. My accent reminds me the first day when my mom made me go to an English class. The moment when I pronounced “A, B, C, D…” It was very difficult but it was rewarding. It shows that no matter where I started, I will be on the top.
I am not working on changing my accent. I am working on making people understand me better.
For some reasons, I miss my old accent. I miss my old self when I was less conforming to this society. I missed me in freshman year of high school where my English is not good enough for me understand the jokes that others used to make fun of me. I missed myself at Sophomore year of high school when I spent a ton of hours in my ESL class to practice English. I miss my junior year when I just shouted a question with my accent in class because I didn’t care.
The moment you humiliating, belittling, and dehumanizing to me, you gain my respect. Because when you are lashing out with your illusion of superiority, you give me your power. You show me your fear the moment that you oppress and make me seem like I am weaker than you.
I just become more fearless, strong, and resistant.
“From the mud of adversity grows the lotus of joy.” – Carolyn Marsden
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