Libra: Sept. 23 – Oct. 22
Between hundreds of swipes on Tinder and seriously considering getting a Davidson Dating account, your love life has been a little, well, sub par. Every time you see a couple walk by you jump to Yak something vindictive. Pluto, the planet of Social Media in relation to Love Life, says it’s time to stop. Keep away from the apps for a bit and something cute might come your way.
Scorpio: Oct. 23 – Nov. 21
If you and technology had a relationship, Facebook would label it “complicated.” You thank your lucky stars each day for the godsend that is Wifi, but just when you need it most, the printer breaks. Watch out—on the 17th, Venus, the planet of technology, will be hidden by cloud cover and unable to help. Prepare in advance for all things internet to implode!
Sagittarius: Nov. 22 – Dec. 21
Midterms sucked up your time, and you’re waiting for Finals to come along and do the same. But Mercury, the planet of friendship, is causing your friends to feel neglected. Reconnecting with them doesn’t have to take anything big– take a study break and send a few Snaps their way. They and your sanity will be glad you did.
Capricorn: Dec. 22 – Jan. 19
You’ve always had a recreational interest in writing, but between the hectic balance of socializing, schooling, and sleeping, you’ve never put much energy into it. Jupiter, the planet of pencils, has other ideas for your future. Near the end of the month, you’ll be hit with an onslaught of creativity. Channel it into essays or a project of your own—either way, you’ll succeed.
Aquarius: Jan. 20 – Feb. 18
You’re still getting emails from all those clubs you signed up for at the activities fair freshman fall. Though it’s fun to get updates on things you’re not involved in, it’s time to face the facts—you’ll never attend a backgammon club meeting. Mars, the planet of clean inboxes, decrees that it’s time to either attend some of these clubs or unsubscribe altogether.
Pisces: Feb. 19 – March 20
All of your friends can attest to it: you have killer taste in music. Solar flares in the eastern hemisphere decree that you no longer have to be shy about it! Make those Spotify playlists public and start cranking out the mix tapes. And be on the lookout for a DJ opportunity on the 12th. Start practicticing your autograph—you’re about to get your big break.
Aries: March 21 – April 19
You’ve always been the girl with her life scheduled out, but some things don’t go according to plan. Particularly with this unpredictable meteor shower that is rocking up the atmosphere—and your life—lately. Though it’s scary and confusing when things don’t go the way you thought they would, it’s time to give in and let your heart, not your mind, make the decisions.
Taurus: April 20 – May 20
You love college, anyone can see that that’s true. But you’ve been missing certain aspects of home as well. Not to worry, Thanksgiving’s right around the corner, and the full moon is bringing you one of your most rejuvinating, relaxing ones yet. By December you’ll be recharged with familial love and Davidson will be graced with your loveable energy once again.
Gemini: May 21 — June 20
You’ve been rolling in the cash as of late due to some lucky bets. But heed this warning—Uranus, the planet of wagers, won’t be streaming the money your way much longer. Be wary of placing any more bets in the near future. You’re sure to lose money on the next one… or win, depending on your point of view.
Cancer: June 21 – July 22
Another hell week coming up soon, and lately, denial has been your coping strategy. The Draco constellation says it’s time to stop flipping through Instagram and pull out the textbooks. With a little time management, it’ll be easy living from Thanksgiving and onwards, with maybe a DFMO or two as a reward for your studiousness.
Leo: July 23 – Aug. 22
Organized person that you are, you’re pretty good at keeping up with your CatCard. But Saturn, the planet of forgetfulness, has a bone to pick with you this month. Whip out that freshman lanyard as an extra precaution. Sure, it’s embarassing, but wouldn’t you prefer that over having to post a plea for help on the Class of 2018 page?
Virgo: Aug. 23 – Sept. 22
You’ll be the first to admit—you’re not one for needles. But you’re not one for illnesses either. Neptune, the planet of health, has decreed that the time has come for you to choose. Drop by the health center for a flu shot or spend the rest of November bathing in hand sanitizer.