Loosley inspired by Ta-Nahisi Coates’ talk and his book “Between the World and Me.”
Son–
You were born winning a genetic lottery (besides my genes that is). You were born with the cloak of normal wrapped around your tiny little shoulders. You were born with intrinsic acceptance of your personhood. You were born with the approval of centuries of forefathers.
Dont’ get me wrong kid, you’re Irish, we struggled. But we were granted whiteness. And now here we are.
Outside of my house: You will be told real men don’t cry. You will not be allowed to wear pink, unless you go South or have a shirt that says “real men wear pink.” No one will demand that you smile for them while you walk down the street. No one will mistake you for a criminal who looks nothing like you except smilar levels of melanin.
If you decide that you don’t like girls– you will have to announce that, as though it is not-normal.
If you decide you are not a boy– you will have to transition on a stage in front of an audience who knows nothing about you and yet refuses to shut up about you.
When you go to school my baby boy, you will be every so subtly steered towards certain activities. I hope you love them. I hope that if you don’t like them, you quit them. But when you quit them no one will question whether that’s indicative of your race, no one will attribute your quitting to a failure of culture. According to High School Musical (a movie we’ll never play becuase it SUCKS) you’ll be able to do both the sport and the theatre because you do them both perfectly. You will get the girl.
When you venture out into the world, child, you will more likely than not be expected to perform. And when you don’t, people will emasculate you. And hopefully you remember that being called anything that relates to a woman isn’t an insult– no matter how biting the tone.
Child, you will not be expected to empathize. You will not have to dig into certain great questions of identity and place and future in the same way that some of your peers will. You will have serious crises and hopefully you will not lash out at others who are dealing with different crises. Hopefully you will end up empathizing.
You will be a fish in water, and I will do my best to make sure you know you are swimming in a water that supports you in ways you sometimes don’t feel or realize or recognize.
Love,
Your future mother
If you are interested in writing an article for Her Campus Davidson, contact us at davidson@hercampus.com or come to our weekly meeting at 8pm in the Morcott Room.