Let me begin this by saying I have let go of many prejudices that I had as a child. Slytherin is not evil–they just know what they want and how to go get it. Hufflepuff isn’t lame–they’re the loyal and the industrious. Gryffindors aren’t inherently the best–they’re brave and strong, but can be kind of reckless and glory-seeking. Ravenclaws aren’t the cold and dweeby kids who think they know everything–they’re… well let’s be honest: they’re Davidson students.
BUT if we were to put THAT knowledge aside for a moment and assume that any of us could be in a different house, we can answer the all-important question: Which Eating House would be each Hogwarts House?
1. Rusk = Hufflepuff
Hufflepuff is a house of teamwork, hard work, and working for a cause. Rusk’s dedication to composting, environmental activism, and sustainibility is one of the markers of their house. The Ruskies work well together as a team as well. Each house member is expected to do her share–as the Ruskies compost, as they host the epic Burgers in Paradise, and as they host the Space Jam sisterhood. Walking into the Rusk house, you can see the community of the House. It feels like each Ruskie (would a singular be Rusky?) is an integral part of the house’s dynamic culture. Rusk is also known for its delicious food, and, as any Hogwarts foodie knows, the Hufflepuff Common Room is right next to the kitchen. Ticklish pears cows anyone?
Added bonus: you’ve got this stud (pre-sparkly angst).
2. Connor = Slytherin
Connor is a house known for housing the athletes, and if there is one thing we know about Davidson’s student athletes, it’s that they know what they want and how to get it. In order to be a student athlete at Davidson you have to want to be at Davidson for all of the sundry academic opportunities we offer, but you ALSO have to love the sport you play so much that you’re willing to dedicate most of your free time to being good enough to be an A10 player. There’s also a lot of ambition that goes into athletics, and that is written into the Connor House culture. But the Connor Nonners aren’t slacking: their self-selection night is hard core, and none of them let the haters get them down. These ladies know what they want, and they’re kicking ass to get it.
3. Turner = Gryffindor
Gryffindors are individualistic and Turner is full of individuals. They are the only house not on the court and yet their glitter reaches across campus. Turner ladies are known for being big personalities on campus: they implement ideas and party in equal supply, and their snack game to fuel all of these efforts is on POINT. They are incredibly brave with the farthest to fall when dancing. They have the tallest tables and some of the longest legs (there are a lot of Volleyball players in Turner) but with piles of glitter and pop-tarts to cushion their falls, life is good in Turner House.
4. Warner = Ravenclaw
Full disclosure–I’m a proud member of Warner Hall. I probably have the deepest knowledge of our actual culture, and not just the “common knowledge stereotypes” that go around campus t(hat, honestly, aren’t all that true). I find that these ladies are involved in the pursuit of knowledge as we try to raise awareness for an issue few people know much about: HIV/AIDS. We’ve also put in place some new ideas and small little things that make house-care and house-culture easier and more efficient (those dish scrubby things are gamechangers). We are also known for accesorizing well, and Rowena Ravenclaw’s diadem is, perhaps, the classiest accesory of the four founders.
So there you have it: Eating Houses as Hogwarts Houses. This is by no means the definitive list, and there are many ways this could be done, but in the season of self-selection, let us all be grateful that an algorithm–and not a creepy hat reading our minds–is responsible for our placement.