To preface this, let me explain something about my family – we are insane. My mom’s family is obsessed with UNC basketball. Like completely, devotedly, wholeheartedly, unhealthily obsessed with Carolina basketball. Our family events have been structured around games my whole life, my cousins and I are totally used to being screamed at for standing in front of the TV, and arguably every curse word I’ve learned I learned in my grandmother’s sunroom during a Carolina-Duke game. That being said, March Madness is my thing. I fill out a bracket every year. There are highlighters involved. I know what I’m doing. So if you’re going to join the madness (and let’s be honest, you know you want to), here are some ways to do it like a pro.
1. Learn the language. March Madness is the casual name for the NCAA Men’s Division 1 Basketball Championship; it’s also known as the Big Dance. Right before the tournament starts, Selection Sunday happens – 68 teams are chosen to compete in the tournament. The teams are seeded – given a ranking of 1-16 based on how well they’re predicted to do in the tournament – and paired in the bracket, which is divided into four regions. Once tournament play begins and teams are eliminated, the tournament is narrowed down to the Sweet Sixteen, Elite Eight, and Final Four before the final two teams face off in the championship game. If you’re still with me, I applaud you.
2. Fill out a bracket. There are several ways to approach the bracket. First, you can fill one out online that will be updated for you automatically (and depending on what site you use it usually enters you in a competition with about a zillion other people, so if you’re feeling lucky, go for it). FYI: This year, Warren Buffet has promised to give anyone who can fill out a perfect bracket $1 billion. No, really. Your other option is the old-fashioned way: print a bracket out, write in your choices and use a highlighter or pen to keep track of your wins and losses. This is my preferred method, though I usually do both. (I told you, March Madness is my thing.) Or you could do what a lot of people do and wait until about halfway through the tournament to fill your bracket out, which is definitely cheating and definitely not cool.
3. Pick your teams. Obviously, if you have family/hometown/just-because loyalties, then stick with them. I don’t care if your team is a sixteen seed, if you don’t at least fill out one fantasy bracket in which they take the whole thing, you’re not a real fan. Sorry. Other than that, just go with your gut. Remember that in tournament play, anything can happen – so choose teams that have fun mascots, colors that you like, or represent schools in cities you want to live in. There’s no wrong choice.
4. Watch the games the right way. Honestly, there’s nothing worse than trying to watch a basketball game with someone who doesn’t know the etiquette of watching a basketball game. Basically, just don’t be that girl. Don’t talk during the game. There is an appropriate time for discussing what you’re doing tonight – the last thirty seconds of the game is not that time. Quick questions are okay, preferably during commercials. You get bonus points for having a general understanding of what’s going on, but you also get bonus points for having no clue what’s going on and being quiet anyway. Just saying.
5. Be flexible. Understand that some of your friends may be a lot more into the tournament than you are. If they ask to cancel or rearrange plans so they can watch a game, just let it go. It may seem ridiculous to you, but it only happens once a year. However, if your significant other tries to pass off watching a game as a viable date option when you’re completely uninterested, you’re absolutely allowed to ask for a do over.
6. Embrace the magic. March Madness is arguably one of the coolest sporting events of the year. Athletes from all over the country come together to do what they love and anything is possible (Stephen Curry in 2008, anyone?). So fill out your bracket, get ready to yell at the TV, and have fun!