LDR. These three letters can be quite daunting. But the thing that they stand for–Long Distance Relationship–doesn’t have to be. Whether your SO (significant other) is a town over or his/her noon is your midnight, you can use these tips to change your LDR from just something to get through to something to enjoy.
Have a schedule!
Not necessarily just a comparative timetable of your classes—though that’s helpful too (make sure you allot for time zone differences!), but a schedule to keep the excitement of your relationship going. Monday Skyping, Wednesday postcards, Friday extra-long phone calls recounting your weeks. It’s the little things that keep the big thing going!
Catch the occasional flick together.
Movie date? No problem. Websites like rabb.it make it easy to sync up Netflix shows so you and your bae can enjoy the latest season of OITNB together in real-time. There are also hundreds of not-so-legal websites on which you can both load up a movie separately. After you’re buffered and ready to go, all it takes is a “3…2…1…play!” and you can chat on the phone as you watch your film of choice. Pro tip: In choosing a movie, it’s best to steer clear of ones that are universally agreed to be good, for instance, Forrest Gump. Movies like The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part Two, include just the right amount of ridiculousness to keep conversation flowing.
Don’t be afraid of unconventional dates!
Any couple can watch a movie together. But where else than in an LDR do you have an excuse to separately buy the weirdest food you can find on the market and Skype while you both taste-test it? Though Chicken and Waffles Lays aren’t delicious on their own, they can spur some funny faces and hilarious memories.
Snapchat exists for a reason.
And not just the reason you’re thinking of! Sending the occasional picture of a party you’re at or a pretty building on campus can help your SO visualize the world you’re in and vice versa.
Don’t hide your jealousy.
There will come a time in your LDR in which someone your SO is hanging out with makes you uncomfortable and even jealous. It may be for a valid reason, and it may be totally and completely irrational. Either way, your jealousy is natural. Trying to hide it, however, is not. Come clean about your feelings to bae, instead of complaining about it to your friends. Make sure to reassure them that you’re not telling them in an attempt to control their actions or their friend group, but to make sure all feelings are open and on the table. They’re sure to understand, and with the extra knowledge they’ll be in a better position to reassure you that you are, in fact, the only girl in the world.
Sharing is caring.
In an LDR, it’s easy to let the little details of your day slip from your mind as you’re chatting with the bae. A little detail isn’t a big deal, but when they build up, you can begin to feel more apart than you really are. If a funny little encounter happens, text your SO a quick recap of it. After a while, this will become second nature. Pro tip: Sharing doesn’t stop with conversation! If you see a funny tweet, an interesting website, a cool article, send it their way. Shared Spotify playlists are also a rad and sometimes touching way of keeping up musically.
Don’t take the crap.
Sometimes, people who have never been in an LDR associate it with struggle, strife, and everything-not-so-nice. And while we know it isn’t easy, don’t just sadly agree with others’ statements that “it must be so hard.” Keep a positive demeanor and tell them about the positive aspects of a bae in a galaxy far, far away: more time to spend with friends, always having someone to call up if you’re having a rough day, and never, ever having to shave your legs. If you say you’re happy, and they see you’re happy, you will be happy.
Secrets suck.
Bae doesn’t need to know the full extent of your Taylor Swift obsession, but the full extent to which you got drunk last night shouldn’t be kept hidden. If you black out, you need to tell them. If you make out, you need to tell them. Though sometimes it seems like they’re better off not knowing, the guilt you’re feeling is eventually going to manifest itself in other ways that could cause a rift. Come out, and come clean. A relationship, especially an LDR, relies heavily on trust, and trust isn’t based on lies.
Talk about the future.
You don’t need to plan how many kids you’ll have just yet, but certainly plan what you’ll do next time you see each other. Having a set date in mind for the next time you can hold your SO’s hand can help the time apart pass more quickly. And in the meantime, making a list of cute dates to go on, cute games to play, and cute little things you’re excited to do with each other can help keep the excitement going and will make your time together all the better. Pro tip: You don’t necessarily need to accomplish everything your list entails. Sometimes that trip to the aquarium doesn’t seem so pressing when you have the opportunity to finally cuddle with bae for hours on end. The fish can wait.