Is social media the third person in your relationship?
My constant tweeting, tumbling, and checking-in is now a running joke with my boyfriend. I have even been bribed with ice cream to not check-in to this cute sushi place we discovered (I turned down the ice cream – hey, Foursquare gave me a badge!)
But for the collegiette™ who feels like social media is the third person in her relationship, here are some observations on how the situation occurs and how to deal with it:
Stage 1: Awareness
On Facebook, he has 1000 friends and a posse that comments on every uploaded picture. He posts links to interesting articles he comes across on Tumblr and his status updates are synchronized with tweets. Your last update on Facebook was when the iPad first came out and plus, you believe face-to-face interactions are more important anyway.
Stage 2: Annoyance
“I don’t understand why he [the boyfriend] is always tweeting!” Clara, a Cornell junior, said. “Why is there a need to share everything he does? Who is reading this stuff?!”
I tried to explain that for those of us who are constantly plugged in, social media is a special community that thrives on the exchange of information. Over the years, I have cultivated relationships with some of the commenters on my blog and we enjoy the interaction enough to keep each abreast of updates in our lives. For my friends, social media also adds a whole new dimension to the relationship. I really enjoy reading the silly/pointless/hilarious/shocking links they find.
Stage 3: Action
There are a variety of ways to cut off someone’s social media use. The most obvious of these would be going somewhere without Internet or 3G signal. You can also physically snatch their devices away (though this would just make me very sad). Lastly, if you’re really desperate, you can bargain and coax. For example, if your significant other is a Stage 5 iPhone Addict, try something like, “Gelato for a Twitter Ban!” or “Chocolate Truffles for a Linkedin-Free Day!” Boyfriend, are you listening?
Stage 4: Acceptance
My own reason for being so hooked on these social media sites is actually a bit silly – I have a REALLY bad memory and tweeting/checking-in is a way for me to keep track of my days. In addition, I’m a freelance web designer and my online image is crucial to attracting new clients. On some days I google myself more than I look in the mirror. The boyfriend now understands this and quietly accepts that my Twitter will always have more activity than his.
Stage 5: Assimilate
By this point you have probably concluded that I’m a complete dork. To add to this impression, I think it is incredibly adorable when couples blog together or share this social media hobby. No, it’s not a form of digital PDA, though that’s a whole other concept that needs to be thoroughly examined in another entry. To the collegiettes™out there who turn their noses up from social media: give it a shot! Tweet, tumble, Facebook, and check-in at the insistence of your significant other and see what the hype is.
For some, it may be an annoyance, but for others, at the end of the day, social media is just one more hobby on a list of things that one or both people in a couple may embrace.
The boyfriend’s take on all this? “No comment.”
Sources
Anonymous
Clara ’12