Over the past two weeks, I’ve been living what most would call a dream. It feels more like a vacation than it does school, and sometimes, I forget that I even am in school. Sometimes, I feel like I’m more in a dream than in reality, especially when you live next to a castle by the sea. I can’t even remember the last time I spent a Sunday afternoon, sitting in a candlelit cafe, planning a trip to Sweden and Amsterdam with people who were strangers just two weeks ago. Although the days are grey and cold in Denmark, it gives the strongest and brightest ray of possibilities and adventures.
But there is a reality, outside the the safe bubble I (and many others) have created in Helsingør. Just a continent away, riots and protests escalate in the Middle East, and the rest of the world watches at the edge of their seats. I can almost hear the outraged voices and sounds of violence from here. And from an outsider’s perspective, American politics begin to look like a swarm of children, bickering over little things that shouldn’t matter. And even in Denmark, close up, you can see the sliver of cracks and flaws that threaten to crumble a seemingly perfect utopia. You always have to wake up from a dream and face facts.
But as we sat in the cafe, safe from the cold and endless chaos, we began to reflect on reasons why we came abroad. There seemed to be a general agreement that we all needed a “break” from our normal lives. I know, back at Cornell, everyone I talked to was dying to go abroad because they were “over” the daily grind. It was as if something was missing, and the void was only going to grow bigger unless they packed up their lives and traveled halfway across the world.
“Every six months,” my friend, [B], said in the cafe. “I feel like I need to re-evaluate my life…sort of like, purge myself from friends I don’t need. Because why do we even put up with certain people? Sometimes, you just got to clean it out.”
He later repeated his statement to my roommate, who had been in Copenhagen the entire day. She smiled knowingly and said, “My mom calls it, ‘weeding out your friend garden.’ ”
We all seemed to be tired of the reality that was constantly bombarding us back in the States. But to me, this doesn’t seem like a break from life, but rather a nice change of pace. But at times, it does get overwhelming, especially with how fast things are moving along.
My Danish teacher tells us to write everything down before the extraordinary becomes ordinary. And sometimes, I’m afraid I wouldn’t be able to capture the moments exactly how I want to remember it. It seems to be slipping away from me like water in my hands. Years from now, will I still remember the way it feels to stand on the shore of Elsinore, looking across the blue waters to Sweden? Will I remember how excited I am to come “home” to dinner everyday, after a long day of classes in Copenhagen? Will I remember the breathtaking beauty of the Roskilde Cathedral (above) that reflected the triumph and tragedy of Danish royalty? How can I remember it all?
As the honeymoon phase of being abroad comes to an end, people are getting homesick and feeling the shadows of what was left behind come back to haunt them. If I saw being abroad as a break from my everyday life, I’d probably be feeling the same way. Granted, I still am homesick in a sense that I miss familiar faces and places, but the reason I came abroad was not to escape but to enjoy life and all of its wonders.
It really wasn’t until I got to Denmark did I realize how exhausted I was from, not the daily grind, but from putting up with so many unnecessary things and people. I was, in that sense, in my own little garden, but it was filled with weeds.
However, once I pulled out the weeds, I began to focus on cultivating the flowers — the small acts of kindness and generosity, the love from family, the loyalty of friends, and the little things in life that add up to what really matter. I’ve found that when you travel, you begin to realize and appreciate your blessings. Traveling is not (and should not be) about escape, but finding the courage to face any challenges head on. It’s about the understanding and realization that we’re all pretty much the same — we all break and bend, but in the end, we’re shaped into unique and beautiful individuals.