Dear FBF,
When we were close, it felt effortless. Like us being friends forever was inevitable, and nothing would change that. We would eat ice cream together and make Cinderella pacts with each other until neither of us could pick up the spoon, let alone walk across a treadmill. We would become each other’s maids of honor, our husbands rolling their eyes at our craziness. I don’t think either of us anticipated becoming distant after I moved away. When we reunited, at first, it was like old times. But you had changed. It was like the weight of the world had fallen upon both of us and we couldn’t see eye to eye through the massive rocks we were carrying. There were nights that you got angry for no reason, and even though you said you didn’t mean it, it still hurt.
Our friendship ending seemed like a sudden tragedy at first, but I then realized that it died a slow and painful death. One event pushed us over the edge, and I was left to squeeze the remaining blood out of the gashing wound you left without much thought. Apologizing for the hurt that you caused was the last thing that I wanted to do, but I decided to keep the peace for the sake of everyone else around you. I sacrificed facing the truth towards you for the rest of the time that I had to be around you. The last time we saw each other, you dropped me off at the airport without getting out to give me one last hug. It was a true goodbye. When I texted you, telling you that I had gotten to my destination, you texted back “k bye.” Yeah. K. Bye.
Thank you for teaching me that when a friend tells you “f*** you,” they are not your friend. Thank you for worrying about only yourself when you could see in my eyes that I was going through one of the worst times of my life. Thank you for only reaching out to me when you needed help, not thinking about when I could’ve needed it. Most of all, thank you for helping me see that you can’t always tell when someone will be a good addition to my life. You were. That time has passed.