I Had A Stripper At My 21st Birthday Party And Here's What You Should Know

Before I tell this to you, you need to know some background information.

First of all, I'm a second semester senior and I just turned 21. Normally, I don't celebrate my birthday in any kind of extravagant way. But because this was such a big to-do for my friends and I, the occasion needed to be outrageous. I was lucky enough to have a good friend who happened to live in one of the party houses near my school, and she said I could have a party if I wanted. So, I started planning.

Then, I met Dallas the Cowboy, a stripper who was friends with one of my friends. She took me to a local line dancing club (my least favorite kind of dancing but it was still fun) where we met Dale. I noticed his dancing had a bit more hip movement than normal, and it was revealed to me that he worked as a stripper in the area under the name of Dallas. I found out after doing some internet research throughout the course of last semester that strippers cost a pretty penny. $200+ at the least. As a college student, that was impossible for me to afford, but I was determined to find someone. Then it dawned on me to ask Dallas if he'd be interested, and he cut me a really good deal because of our mutual friend. So...I had a stripper coming to my party.

Let me tell you now that what you think about strippers, especially male strippers, is entirely wrong. Throw away every image you have of Channing Tatum dancing to Pony, every fantasy you've had in your room on lonely nights, ladies and gentlemen, because it's a lot different. Here are some things to know about getting a stripper for your special occasion.

Strippers are touchy. Very touchy.

I had imagined that I'd be sitting in a chair and watching a hot guy dance in front of me and maybe on my lap. No more, no less. That was how it started out but not how it ended. Strippers do touch you, a lot. They lift you in the air, lay you on the ground, have you on your side, bend you over, hold you on their shoulders, etc. Imagine you're a goddam acrobat and that's probably the most similar experience you'll have to having a stripper at your party. It's intense. Some of it was phenomenal and was definitely a hoot and a half for the ladies in attendance of my party. But as someone who has issues with being lifted, I was kind of terrified. Something to definitely consider when getting a stripper is what you're comfortable with, and making sure to communicate that with your entertainer for the night. If you aren't comfortable with certain things, make that clear. You're a client and they will listen. I didn't know this, so I just let them at it with no briefing beforehand really. I will say though, I'm thoroughly impressed with the flexibility and arm strength of strippers. They definitely, definitely can lift.

Don't worry about a 'routine', they just kinda do their thing.

We had a few issues with the music during the party, meaning that Pony was playing for a solid 9 minutes before we figured out what was happening. Regardless, the strippers put on a great performance and didn't lose their energy or rhythm once. The music minimally matters, so long as it's a certain kind of music that they know they can get down to. But be sure to have the songs ready to go. It's very awkward when there's no music playing and you're being grinded on from all angles.

If you're not interested in getting danced on, don't stand in the inner circle.

I'm serious. There were a few girls who got pulled into the circle and were being danced on that were not into it. Obviously, none of us knew any better because I'm pretty sure that none of us had ever seen male strippers before. However, with this information in mind now, if being tossed around and danced on is not your thing, don't make your way to the front of the circle. Stay in the back and take some Snaps. It's hard for strippers to know the difference between someone who is into it and someone who is shy. They're also very aggressive as to portray that manly Tatum-eqsue quality that goes with the profession. Granted, they were a bit more aggressive than I think was preferred for our age group, but none of us knew any better. This was a first for everyone at that party, which is part of what made it so legendary.

Be prepared for bodily fluids.

These guys get a workout in for sure, and by the end of their performance, they were swimming in sweat. It would've been a smart move for us to have had a wet floor sign where the circle was after the performance, it was that intense. Be prepared to get some of those bodily fluids on you, as they're dancing on you and touching you. At one point, the stripper was dancing on me and he poured a drink on his chest and said "lick it off." In the moment, obviously being me, I was like "hell yeah," but in retrospect that feels a little icky considering he was drenched from head to toe. And...ya know...wearing only a thong.

Also be sure to provide an environment that is comfortable for your entertainers.

It's an awkward profession, no lie. But its also a service. That being said, your stripper deserves a proper working environment and tips. Don't even think about getting a stripper if you're not willing to shell out some extra cash for them, and have your friends bring ones as well. I told everyone in the house that if they had money they could watch the show but to otherwise go in the other rooms. Be sure to remind your guests to be respectful of the entertainment, as well as remind your stripper of the boundaries needed for this specific event. Like literally everything in life; communication is key.

Don't. Wear. A. Skirt.

My blue panties are now on the interwebs forever. That is all.

Be open-minded, and have some fun!

It's kind of silly when you think about it. I went from smiling from embarrassment to laughing multiple times throughout the night because I wasn't sure how to feel. This kind of entertainment is pretty explicit, but it's honestly so fun to watch your friends have a blast and see the novelty of it all. Not to mention that the guys there are just that: guys. They have lives outside of this, and they're trying to make ends meet. Keeping that in mind humanizes the act a bit more, but maybe don't think about that but so much when their chest is in your face. Having a stripper at my 21st birthday party is a story I'll always get to tell now, and a hell of a way to celebrate my coming of age. Will I ever get a stripper again? Probably not. Was it worth it? Oh, hell yes.

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