1. Live your life like a movie.
Sometimes people question whether my Facebook statuses are legitimate stories about my interactions with strangers. While I do add a narrative quality, the actions are 100% authentic. The situations are interesting because there’s a conflict—like me hitting on a guy and him totally rejecting it. Because what is a movie without a plot twist? Without a Joker to antagonize Batman? I’m not asking you to wreak havoc on a city, but to make the exciting and irregular choice. Shake up the predictability of normal life by writing your own plot twists. I regularly think to myself: I wonder what would happen if I did XYZ. Then I do that thing if it is legal or I have a small chance of getting caught. You don’t have to be an actor or an actress to be in a movie—life is a movie. Take on a different character for the day. Make some cool stories. I do not condone hitchhiking, but I will never forget that one ride to McDonald’s at 4am.
2. Remember professors are people, too.
I think I realized this the time my thesis advisor had to postpone our meeting to care for her daughter who caught a cold. Wait—professors leave their offices at night and have a life outside of campus? Yes, it may be their job to teach, but I bet you can think of a few who have gone above and beyond that call of duty for you. Along with other academic mentors, some professors are a special breed that will help you grow professionally and personally during college. Keep close with those professors and thank them regularly. Give them small gifts and treats (everyone loves donuts). See how they are doing. Be as grateful as you would to any friend who has helped you as much as they have. You will miss their guidance when you graduate.
3. Learn to separate social media and real life.
It may seem like everyone else’s life is made up of parties and fancy dinners, but that’s because people don’t Instagram a lazy night in with Netflix and greasy pizza (usually). Pictures and status updates capture the highlights of life. Know that everyone has low points offline.
4. Document the good times.
While you shouldn’t live behind your X-Pro II filter, find a way to remember the especially fun days in college (because you will have many). Taking pictures is one way to retain memories, but I’ve found that it’s very effective to write in a journal at the end of the day when I am alone. By waiting until later to recapture the moment, I am not neglecting the very company I am trying to cherish.
5. Seek help when you need it.
CMU students already know about the importance of office hours and good grades, but what about the importance of mental health? As an orientation counselor, I was told to encourage freshmen to use resources at Counseling and Psychological Services (CAPS), but it wasn’t until I needed it myself that I realized how underrated it was. I started going to weekly appointments this semester and would recommend any struggling student try it out. I felt incredibly vulnerable as I walked to the office in Morewood and sat in the waiting room because CMU is such a small campus—what if I saw someone I knew? I didn’t want to make it a big deal, which is what I feel drives many students away from CAPS. However, you don’t have to be dealing with a huge, life-altering problem. Sometimes, it’s just stress or a buildup of many smaller problems. There is nothing wrong with needing psychological support. It doesn’t mean you are crazy—it means you’re choosing not to deal with an issue alone anymore. It was very helpful for me to have an objective person listen to me vent and to have to articulate what I was feeling. CMU students are given 12 free counseling sessions every academic year, and I really believe that any student could benefit from having that kind of outlet, especially at a school as rigorous as ours. If you don’t want to walk there alone or don’t know how to get there, message me and I’ll go with you (we can say we’re having our first date at The Underground so nobody will follow us).
6. Give everyone a chance.
I didn’t start hanging out with people in my major until senior year because I figured all writers had to be complete weirdos like me. Then I was forced to spend a whole semester abroad with two of my classmates and developed the best unexpected friendships I’ve ever had. It’s opened up an entirely new circle of friends in the English department who can geek out over pretty sentences and word play with me. It annoys me that I was so quick to write them off (puns!).
7. Appreciate your education.
Sure, finals will suck and studying will be the end of you, but when school gets tough, take a step back and just think about how different your life would be without the opportunity to attend college. I was walking home from an all-nighter at Hunt Library one early morning and it was snowing and I was tired. But I stopped halfway down Margaret Morrison Street and looked around me. There were fellow students entering and exiting dorms, probably from a night much like mine. The snow fell in large flakes, slower than usual. I thought about how lucky I was to have a reason to be sleep-deprived, to have access to a library where I could work comfortably, and to carry around a backpack full of assignments I cared about. And to have a warm home to return to on top of all of that? I had won the lottery. Maybe it was the coffee and sugary blueberry Poptarts that fueled my early morning epiphany, but as college students, we sometimes lose sight of the fact that we are among the luckiest young adults in the world. If you ever need a reminder of why you should be happy to be at college, I’d suggest reading Tracy Kidder’s “Strength in What Remains”.
8. Go for the kiss.
You can get over rejection and embarrassment with time, but it’s much harder getting over regret. If you choose to be romantically involved at college (which you totally don’t have to #sexkills #cometocmuandliveforever), the awesome thing is that your experience can be whatever you choose—one night stands, casual dating, or finding your future spouse. The common factor is that the spark has to happen somehow, so initiate a conversation, ask that person out on a date, or just swipe right. And if you find yourself sitting with someone you like, wondering whether it’s the right time for a kiss, just shut up and go for it. Disclaimer: “Love fearlessly” is not synonymous with “disregard consent.”
9. Try to make someone smile.
I was in line at Entropy once and started dancing and singing along to the radio, which was playing Jackson 5’s “ABC.” When I reached the front of the line, the cashier laughed and asked, “Whatchu know about Michael?” I paid for my food and we ended our conversation both happier than we were moments ago. Smiles are actually contagious, so interact positively with the people around you and you will be surprised at how it can brighten a rainy Pittsburgh day, which brings me to my last point…
10. Use Every second.
Paying for food takes about five seconds, but it’s five seconds you can actively use or let pass. When I sang and danced in Entropy, I chose the former. I wanted to make the most of my time and the cashier’s. It’s the same reason I try to incorporate humor into all of my Facebook statuses—if someone is investing the time to read my status, why would I waste it on something negative when I can make them laugh? Your college years are comprised of countless “five second” opportunities. Use them wisely or wildly, fearlessly and frequently. Most importantly, use them.
Take what you will from this list (but if you kiss your professor and document it, don’t you dare put that on me). Use your own good judgment. Make your own mistakes, but make them worth it. I can’t say that college will be the best years of your life, but I guarantee it’ll make your top 100. Have fun, you crazy whippersnappers, and remember to call your parents (or at least send an “I’m still alive” text).