They suck.
I never thought that I would be the girl to have a boyfriend at home when I went to college. I thought it was one of the dumbest things you could possibly do. Why, when you finally have this newly found freedom, would you want to be tied down to someone hundreds of miles away? I couldn’t have told you one reason. College is a time for finding yourself and figuring out who you are supposed to be, and I thought in order to do that, you had to be single. This was all before I met my boyfriend in my senior year of high school. And I really didn’t think I would be dating this guy in my sophomore year of college, but here I am. I’m not going to lie, long distance is not ideal and I would do anything for us to be closer, but I just have to deal with it the way it is.
If I have learned one thing from being in a long distance relationship it’s that, even if you don’t think you’re a jealous person, you are going to get jealous. The first month is hard. It’s a time you’re both settling in and meeting new people and trust is tested. There will be other girls in pictures with him and a little fire will ignite in your mind. But he is in the same position and even if he doesn’t show it, he’s probably a little jealous too (scratch that: he’s really jealous). But you just have to accept it and be open about it because if you’re not, you’re going to be miserable.
Going out is a big part of college life and it is a great way to meet new people. But, if you feel like you can’t go out just because you are in a long distance relationship, you are wrong. There is no harm in going out with your girlfriends and having fun as long as you respect your relationship. I have been very lucky in this department because my boyfriend doesn’t care if I go out because he does the same. However, if you are being held back from your own college experience by your partner, it may be time to think about if the whole long distance thing is worth it for you.
The most important thing is communication. I know, I know everyone says this! But, if you don’t talk, it won’t work. Period. You don’t need to talk on the phone every day, but little updates throughout the day will keep you sane. I have been known to go a little crazy with quadruple texting because I get so excited to talk I don’t even give him a chance to respond. And it’s important to remember that both of your schedules are crazy and may not align as you might wish they did. But when you do get to Facetime or talk on the phone, even a minute of hearing his voice or seeing his face is so comforting.
Technology is great in the way that it keeps us connected, but it’s never the same as actually being with each other. It’s easy to think about how much time you won’t see each other, but it’s more important to focus on the time that you will. Plan a weekend together! Plan to go to a new restaurant or to a baseball game! If you focus on making the time you do have together special, it will make it that much easier when you’re apart. That way you can think of all the fun you had, and not how miserable you are at the moment.
During my time at college I have been asked, “Why would you want to have a long distance boyfriend?” at least once a week. There came a time when I actually did start thinking about why I was doing it. But then I realized that the only reason I had to end it would be to appease someone else’s idea of what college should be like. Just because someone may think college is about hooking up with someone new every weekend doesn’t mean that is what I want to do. Being in a long distance relationship is very hard, there is no sugar coating that. But, my philosophy is: if it’s not broken, don’t fix it.
So yes, long distance relationships suck. But, with the right person, they are so worth it.