What makes me Latina? It’s a question that I’ve had to ask myself over and over again, but one that I could really never find a solid answer to. Physically, I never matched up to other’s expectations of me. The signature dark skin and eyes are absent from my appearance; instead, I have light skin that will only somewhat tan on a summer’s day with hazel eyes to match. I never really had a Spanish accent, many of my classmates over the years have pointed that out. Finally, I am sometimes considered as not being truly “Latina”. After all, I’m only half Hispanic on my mother’s side.
Because of these assumptions, I felt like I had to hide my true race and thus identity for years on end. I couldn’t be myself; after all, that would be abnormal in a suburban town where the overwhelming majority of the population is white. When taking any type of standardized test, I felt like I was cheating myself from the start by always circling the “white” option instead of “other”. At every doctor’s appointment, I was put into that same exact stereotype. The reports printed out the five letter word that I truly could not and did not fit into. I soon got sick of it and just hid it all behind a mask of pain and sorrow.
After suffering from years of frustration, I realized what I had to do. I realized that I didn’t have to necessarily follow the strict standards society imposes as to what we as individuals can identify as. I had always felt close to my Latin roots, as I speak with my mom’s family on a pretty regular basis. In addition, I am fluent in my literal “mother tongue” after taking years of Spanish classes throughout middle and high school. It would only make sense for me to not only be put into that group but to also embrace the culture. National LatinX Heritage Month, which lasts from September 15 to October 15, has given me that chance. I can go to events and speak with others from my background with a sense of being judged for how “Latina” I really am, and I hope that it will do the same for many others, too.