This past week I (Aliyah) attended an event on campus. The event named, “I Cheated…But I Still Love You,” gave me a look into the mind of a broken-hearted college student. For a long time, I’ve been so focused on my own love life that I haven’t really paid that much attention to the love lives of my peers. A lot of questions were posed and a lot of opinions were given from both the panel and the audience. We’ve decided that we will give our own opinions on the questions that were posed and a little more insight on the topic of cheating.
What is commitment?
Loyalty to someone or something. In the matter of relationships, commitment is the trust and consistency between partners.
How much do you believe commitment matters in a relationship?
Commitment is extremely important in a relationship. Without commitment leaves the possibility of betrayal or cheating. There will be room for unanswered questions and assumptions.
When do you believe the agreement of commitment needs to be spoken about when getting into a relationship? Necessary or unnecessary?
It is very necessary to speak on terms of commitment. It needs to happen before things get too far in a relationship. Before the relationship is solidified and established, ground rules need to be stated to make sure both partners are on the same page.
Why do people cheat?
I (Aliyah) believe people cheat because they are unhappy or unsatisfied in their current relationship. They’re wishing for more, even if their current partner is giving them everything they’ve been asking for. There’s something still missing and the other person is able to fulfill that emptiness for them.
I (Carlina) believe people cheat due to their own disloyalty. Even if you are unhappy, as someone who is loyal, you wouldn’t take it upon yourself to cheat on your significant other. You would do the adult thing and express your unhappiness with the relationship. I personally believe that you have to be disloyal as a person, to even cheat on someone.
Is cheating an end all be all in a relationship?
We believe cheating is the end all be all in a relationship. Once the trust is gone, there is no way it can be rebuilt. There is a special type of conformability and trust that comes with building a romantic relationship. Once someone breaks that trust, it can never be the same again. Yes, there’s a chance that you would be able to trust that person, but it will never be the way it used to be. That level of trust is gone. The possibility of trusting or looking at that person the same way is no longer there. There’s no way a relationship with someone who cheated and destroyed our bond would be able to thrive.
Carlina: In my opinion, you cannot love someone if you cheat on them. Loving someone means not hurting them intentionally. Cheating is intentional. You knew the basis of the situation when you cheated. You cannot love someone and break the bond and trust you have with them by adding someone else into the relationship before them.
Relationships are never easy, especially in college where things are confusing as hell. We’re just here to make it a little less difficult. If you have an opinion on any of these questions, leave a comment below. Keep a look out for our next installment of the For My Girls in College series.
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