After last week’s intro article about the new Advice Column here at HC Cal State LA, I started to receive many emails with questions from you lovely ladies about various things and I can’t wait to start answering all of them! However, there was one question that really stuck out to me. I decided to dedicate this week’s post to this specific question because it is something all of us have experienced or will experience at some point and that is getting over an ex.
The question was simple: “How do I get over my ex, how do I let him go and move on and get back to how things use to be?”
The advice: Things will never go back to how they use to be; it’s just not possible. You can phrase this either way about getting back to the way things use to be with your ex or the way things were before ever meeting them, but regardless, it is not going to happen. This may seem harsh or cruel, but it is the truth! Once things change, they can never go back to how they once were. People change, life changes and this is actually a really great thing! You may be hurting now and sad, but this heartbreak is going to strengthen you and make you wiser for future relationships. You should look at this sad moment in life, and yes it is just a moment your life is going to carry on this will not last forever, as a tool that is going to guide you to becoming a better, stronger, smarter, and more equipped individual!
I am not the same person as I was before my ex and I am glad for that because the person I was before was gullible, self conscious, and afraid, but now even after all the pain, I am so much happier and my confidence has sky rocketed. I know what you’re thinking, “You were dumped! Someone didn’t want you anymore, how could your confidence increase?” Well of course at first I was depressed and pretty much hated myself, but after a while I realized that I am an amazing person who has a lot to offer and if this one person can’t see that and appreciate it well that’s their loss! You have to let go of all the self-pity and start realizing what a great person you are! Fall in love with your amazing and beautiful self because that is the person who will never turn their back on you! You can be your own soul mate; you don’t need someone else to show you how fantastic you are when you can do that yourself!
Getting over an ex and letting them go is no easy business, but once you stop reminiscing and thinking about what could have been the sooner you will be on a path of happiness and overwhelming peace! You have to stop putting that person on a pedestal and thinking that you will never do better, because this negative thinking will not help or do any good. If you find yourself obsessing and constantly thinking about it then you need to get involved with something that will take your mind off of it; start reading, join a club, focus on work or school, spend more time with friends and family, anything that will benefit you and make you happy! I look at breakups as a new beginning, a chance to focus on yourself and better your life; THIS IS THE TIME TO BE SELFISH LADIES!! You don’t have to focus on anyone, but yourself so take advantage of this and just do you!!!
If you take anything from this article let it be this; you are worth so much more than one person’s negative opinion of you. You are an amazing and stunning person who is going to do great things in life and you should never let someone’s pessimistic attitude change how you feel about yourself, do you and don’t worry about anyone else!
If you have any questions or advice of your own please feel free to email me at hccalstatela@gmail.com with “ADVICE” in the subject line. I would love to hear more from you Collegiettes!