Having divorced parents can be a touchy subject for some, but from what I have come across, it is usually a touchy subject for those whose parents have remained together. There is a misconception that having divorced parents leads to a child being constantly tormented by their parents no longer being together. From my own experience and from what I’ve seen from others, this misconception is not the case.
The experience a child of divorced parents has is different from person to person. It usually depends on how the parents decide to handle their divorce. They can make it very uncomfortable and horrible for their child or they can be civil with one another and try to keep their problems to themselves.
My experience with having divorced parents has been fairly good. Note that my parents got divorced when I was two years old, so I never really knew what it was like to have them together. My parents, I think for my sake and their own well being, have remained very civil with each other and I would go so far as to say that they have remained friends. Obviously, I am very lucky. For the people who think having divorced parents is a sob story, I have some news for them. There are many perks to having parents who are no longer married, but most of these positive things come from having parents who are cordial with each other. I can’t speak for all people with divorced parents, but I think I can for most people whose parents have remained friendly towards one another.
A major benefit with having parents who are no longer married is that you can get a sense of what a marriage really is and what it means. Marriages are not perfect and neither is love. Divorced parents shed light on the imperfections of marriage. Seeing my parents still be friends and having moved on with their lives is so much more beneficial and impactful on my life. Knowing that there are flaws in relationships, and that it is okay, is a tremendous thing I have learned. Seeing my parents be nice and friendly with each other is so much better than seeing them in a marriage where they don’t truly love each other. Having divorced parents shows that it is okay to not have the same feelings you once did for someone.
Divorce isn’t wrong. Not being in love with someone isn’t wrong. There is a stigma that divorce is a horrible thing, but what can be learned from divorce is not so horrible. It shows that there is imperfection in the world and it is okay. If my parents being divorced has taught me anything, it is that life is not perfect and it’s okay to hit bumps in the road and change your direction.
The rest of the positives I have experienced with divorced parents are a little lighter. Many people might not have experienced these things in their situation, but for me, having divorced parents has had some nice perks.
For one, I get double the presents on holidays. Not only do I have two sets of parents getting me presents, but I also have extra family that comes with having a step-dad. That’s the other plus. Divorced parents means potential for them to get remarried. My mom got remarried, so I now have another set of grandparents, two more aunts, AND another cousin. I love my family, so having more is nothing but amazing. Another little perk is I get to go on double the vacations. Like I stated before, I am very lucky, and many people might not have divorced parents who make situations, like vacations, easy.
Another perk is having more quality time with each parent. As a child, I had designated days with my parents. With limited time with each parent, the quality time was more special and more one-on-one. Now that I am older, it is still very similar. When I spend time with my dad, it is just with my dad. I can’t say what it would have been like if my parents stayed together, but I think my dad and I are closer because of the divorce. We plan dinners and trips, and I think many people with married parents probably don’t do that as much.
Not every child of divorce has the same story. They might argue that there are more negatives to having divorced parents, but for me I think it sheds a different light on things, like marriage and love. Plus, having two sets of parents can be really nice. There are definitely rough times, but for the most part, the experiences I have had from having divorced parents have been nothing but valuable and constructive.