Her Campus Logo Her Campus Logo
placeholder article
placeholder article

Friend Zone or Danger Zone? A Collegiette’s Response to the Washington Shootings

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Cal Poly chapter.

On April 25, 2014, a young man stabbed a girl to death at a Connecticut high school. The

reason? She had refused to go to prom with him. On May 23, 2014, a young man went on a shooting spree in Isla Vista, California. He killed six people and injured thirteen as a way of seeking revenge upon women who did not want to date him. On October 24, 2014, a young man brought a gun to his high school in Washington state and used it to shoot six students, killing two of them. Why? A young girl decided that she did not want to date him.

While these tragedies are extreme in nature, they showcase a mentality many men seem to hold. Have you ever heard of the “friend zone”? For your reference, reader, I looked this phrase up on one of the most reputable and respected sources in the industry. What, you ask? Urbandictionary.com of course!

According to Urban Dictionary, the term “friend zone” can be defined as “what you attain after you fail to impress a woman you’re attracted to. Usually initiated by the woman saying, ‘You’re such a good friend.’ Usually associated with long days of suffering and watching your love interest hop from one bad relationship to another. Verb tense is ‘Friend-ed.’” I interpreted this to mean that the “friend zone” is a word that describes what happens when a woman exercises her right to decide for herself who she dates, who she sleeps with and who she has a romantic attraction to.

Wow. How dare she! (Cue sarcastic gasp.) By coining phrases that shame girls who do not return a person’s romantic feelings, society as a whole is giving boys the idea that because they like a girl, they are entitled to her. This sets the precedent for dangerous situations such as those described above. Should the world become a place where a woman has to hesitate to reject romantic advances because doing so may threaten her life? I challenge you to search out the answer to that. Hint: you won’t find it in the “friend zone.”

Her Campus Placeholder Avatar
Aja Frost

Cal Poly

Aja Frost is a college junior living in San Luis Obispo, California. She is equally addicted to good books and froyo, and considers the combo of the two the best since pb & b (peanut butter and banana.) Aja has been published on the Huffington Post, USA Today College, Newsweek, The Daily Muse, xoJane, and Bustle, among other publications. Follow her on Twitter: @ajavuu