Growing up as a girly teenager, I partook in all the traditional stepping stones of becoming an adult. In middle school, I was the epitome of a teenager: obsessed with Zac Efron after watching “High School Musical,” and memorizing all the lyrics to the latest Taylor Swift hit. It wasn’t until high school when I realized that real relationships were actually happening around me. Though I didn’t partake (I was an immature high schooler), I saw my girl friends go on first dates and have boyfriends. Some of them even fell in love. I watched and waited patiently in the wings for the perfect guy to come and whisk me away and expose me to this mysterious world of love and relationships.
It took a couple years, but finally it was my turn. I was home from college over spring break. Over the college school year, I had kept in close contact with one of my best guy friends from high school. I had started to develop feelings for him, and since we were both home I was determined to tell him how I felt. Looking back, it was probably one of the scariest but best things I ever did.
Thankfully, he ended up feeling the same way. Despite being slightly intimidated by having a long distance relationship (he went to school on the East Coast), we decided to go for it, to be together. I was over the moon. And I’ll admit, we had some really great times together, but unfortunately things didn’t work out. It wasn’t a waste of time; I discovered some really valuable things about myself, what I need in a relationship and relationships in general.
A quick disclaimer before I start my spiel: I’m not here to convince you of anything: to tell you how to think, or to advise you how to love. But I would like to share what I’ve learned thus far…
When we haven’t experienced something ourselves, we often seek others to explain or portray it to us. For me, I saw examples of romantic relationships and people in love everywhere I looked: “The Fault in Our Stars,” “One Day,” or “The Vow”—you know the drill. They feed us the most dramatic and sensationalized portrayals of relationships. The characters float through an unrealistic world that lacks the obstacles that are presented in reality.
My short experience with romance has only shown me that real relationships take work and effort. It’s no small feat for two individuals to share a bond that’s strong enough to overcome various challenges in life. It isn’t always easy, and it isn’t always fun. But once you’ve communicated and shown to your significant other that they’re worth the occasional struggle, the occasional bad day and the occasional tears, that’s where a true love is found.