Have you ever been out on the town and realized you couldn’t wait to get back home to, you know…get it on? Well, finding the right place to do so isn’t too difficult. Really anywhere will work. If you go out late enough and no one is around it is crazy easy for you to get it on in public. But for the less daring who might not have mastered the dinner table hand jobs, it is still easy to get it on in public. This is great for anyone with a roommate who never leaves, or maybe you want to spice up your sex life. Someone has probably already had sex everywhere you have been, you might as well join the party.
1. Architecture Graveyard
This is best done at night to avoid people, but you could probably make it happen at any time. You can hide away in any of the structures, or maybe lay a blanket out on the hill. Let’s not forget all the places you can have sex on the path there, or the multiple other routes you can take off into Poly Canyon. When you are done you can look at the stars.
2. Bishop’s Peak
There are so many places to do the deed on Bishop’s. You can do it by the pond at the bottom, you can find a cave, you can use the small forest area, you can use the bench on top, and if you aren’t afraid of heights you can do it on top of the rock. It is so easy to hide away from people if you don’t want to get caught but still want to do it in the day time.
3. Cerro San Luis Trail
Most of you will probably know this hike better as Madonna. Same principals from Bishop’s apply. It is easy to sneak off and find yourself a secluded area, or you can do it on top of the mountain.
4. Santa Rosa Park (or literally any park)
Parks are best utilized at night to avoid small children, it’s best not to scar anyone for life. But at night you have a steady supply of benches and play structures. You can get freaky on a swing set or on a slide – there are endless possibilities. Plus, Santa Rosa Park has those rocks next to the stream where you can lay out a blanket and be slightly more romantic.
5. Montana de Oro
Montana de Oro is huge, and there is an endless supply of places to be alone. You can drive off somewhere into nature and do it in your car, you can find a cave, or you can do it on one of the beaches (although I would not recommend the rocky one). Sex at Montana de Oro has the same principals of sex at a park, but it is bigger and way easier to find a secluded place.
6. Top of the PCV Parking Garage
No one ever wants to go to the top of the parking garage in PCV. There is an endless struggle to be on the lowest floor possible, because let’s face it, stairs are awful. But that makes it all the better spot to be alone.
7. Kennedy Library
As an employee of the library, I am not encouraging you to do this. But it is really easy to hide in the stacks. There have been more than a few people laid in the library.
8. Beaches (Avila/ Pismo/ The nude beach/ Grover)
Bring a towel or blanket to avoid sand getting into any less desirable orifices and you will be set. It’s even easy to do during the day as long as your subtle, because let’s be honest you are already half naked anyway.
9. Barnes and Noble Elevator
This was recommended by an anonymous friend. Pull the stop button and you can take all the time you need. This trick works for all elevators, in theory. Make sure you don’t take too much time though and cause suspicion (unless that’s what you want).
10. The Sand Dunes
Sand dunes represent the same challenges as beaches in regards to sand in unwanted places. But beyond that it is easy to find a private spot.
11. On Campus (most places)
You probably don’t want to accept this, but someone has already had sex basically everywhere on campus, especially if it is nighttime. Find an empty classroom or building, do it in a bathroom (there are many), hike out to the P, or use one of the benches when no one is around. There is a vast array of sex spots to hit up in between or after class.
12. The Arboretum
The arboretum is a beautiful place to get laid. You can pack a picnic lunch and have a full date right there. It is a little harder to avoid people there, but it is doable.
13. Serenity Swing
This is hike best done at night due to popularity. But once you get to the top alone (or with a group if that is how the night it going), it is worth it. You can always stop and bang along the way.
14. The Hammocks in Mustang
If you walk on the paths between Mustang 1 and 2, take the little side route off to the dog park. There’s orange hammocks that are great to cuddle in or partake in other activities. Hammocks might take a little extra maneuvering and balance, but they are definitely possible.
15. Anywhere (especially if you have a car)
Cars are game changers when it comes to public sex. You could do it downtown as long as it’s dark. You can drive to the middle of nowhere and have sex there. Size does not matter when we are talking about cars, you can make it work.