Her Campus Logo Her Campus Logo

5 Ways to Recognize a Toxic Friendship

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at C Mich chapter.

Throughout my life I have had my fair share of good, bad, and ugly friendships. Sometimes it is hard for us to recognize those friends that bring us down and who are not really there for you. I have compiled a list of 5 things to look for when trying to re-evaluate whether a friendship is worth it anymore. Life is too short to have a friend who isn’t really looking out for our best interests so make sure you’re putting effort into a friendship that is going to make your life happier.

1. Realize when your friend is putting you down:
Friends are supposed to be there to support us. If you constantly find that this friend makes you feel unimportant, unhappy, and unworthy of their time and respect, this person is a toxic friend.

2. Watch our for friends who talk behind your back:
This is one that I have often come into trouble with. These people are nice to your face and then a second later are talking to others about you. Not only does this hurt your feelings, it breaks down the trust in your friendship leading only to negative feelings and resentment between you two. If you consistently find that a friend is doing this, it might be time to figure out if they are worth having in your life.

3. Your friend is jealous of you:
This is another very common characteristic of a poisonous friendship. I have come into contact with this one more times than not when dealing with girls. A friend is someone who should be happy for you when something exciting is going on in your life. They should be proud of you, and they’re for you. If your friends rather talk about themselves and their accomplishments other then congratulating you on something extraordinary that just happened in your life, you should take a step back and analyze whether this person is a true friend. Jealousy is an ugly thing. We all get jealous from time to time, but its how we deal with our jealously that determines if we are a toxic friend or not.

4. You are more stressed and unhappy with this person around:
Friends are the people who are supposed to make you feel better when life gets tough…which it does…. A LOT. Obviously every relationship will have its ups and downs, but if constant feelings of hurt, unbalance, stress, and betrayal are a regular thing, you should reconsider whether the friendship is worth keeping.

5.Evaluate your other friendships:
This is the biggest thing that helps me to figure out who my true friends are. A few weeks ago I evaluated my friendships and what about them makes me happy or unhappy. I found that so many people in my life wanted the best for me and were there for me when I didn’t think they would be. Evaluating my other healthy friendships showed me what was toxic about the others. It helped me realize what friends were worth having and what relationships were not right for me anymore. Friends are a huge part of everyone’s life. Friends are the people we share our closest secrets, our biggest heartaches, and major celebrations with. Make sure that the relationship with your friend is with someone who will bring you up and catch you when you fall down.

 

Alex Puzzolo is a junior at Central Michigan University. She is majoring in Integrative Public Relations and minoring in Leadership. She is an active member in her sorority, Phi Sigma Sigma, by holding Executive Board positions. Alex is a Co-founder of the Central Michigan University chapter of Her Campus. She is from Mundelein, IL and loves to travel. She has been to multiple countries and just recently completed an internship in Ireland. An interesting fact about Alex is that she has worked in a jewelery store for the past two years and is certified member of the Gemology Institute of America.