Singlism [noun]: negative stereotypes and discrimination toward singles.
Singlism has been seen as the stuff of myths, or along the lines of an urban legend. But I am here writing to you all to say that this is far from the truth. Singlism is a real thing and it needs to be stopped.
Think about the way society views singles. Commonly singles are looked down upon as the crazy cat ladies who are immature, insecure, self-centered, lonely, unhappy, and ugly.
These stereotypes are always stamped onto those who have their relationship status on Facebook set to single. However, if you take a step back and notice the shift in millenials relationship dynamics, then you will see the new flattering light singles are now basking in.
The research study “The Evolution of Coupling” implies, “the advent of reliable contraception, and social norms promoting the pursuit of a career are likely causes of the rising tide of singles and the decision by many to remain single their entire lives.” Females are no longer obligated to take on the role of homemaker. They can get their dream job without the burden of becoming mommy before they have achieved success as an individual. Women are no longer getting a higher education in the Mrs. Degree, but rather choosing a major that has a future in the worlds job market.
Charlotte Lieberman’s article “Why is college dating so screwed up?” reported that women make up 60% of college graduates with a bachelor’s degree. In addition, Jessica Bennett for Newsweek reported in her 2010 article that women are, “also the breadwinners (or co-breadwinners) in two-thirds of American families.” These celebration worthy statistics are proof that women are active members of society, now that they are no longer obligated to take on the role of the clichéd soccer mom.
Women are beginning to choose singlehood over motherhood as they feel less pressure to settle down right away. This choice for independence is liberating for all of female kind. These achievements are a huge fete that will make you stand on a chair and scream, “I am women, hear me roar!” (Pause. Now go watch the ultra fabulous Sex and the City ladies belt out our women anthem, “I Am Woman”)
Millenials are more career-oriented than ever before and we have the ability to live a good life without a man by our side. We can make it on our own.
Yet rather than celebrating the progress that has been made in the feminist movement, society is still choosing to downplay all this triumph with a pity party filled with “aw congratulations on the amazing career women you have become! But are you sure you’re not too lonely?” Singlism is still placing sad eyes on all who look at you as that single girl.
The world needs to adapt to the changing times and drop all negative connotations about singlehood. The stigma of singles being lonely and unhappy is not in the slightest bit accurate. The study, “The unrecognized stereotyping and discrimination against singles,” posed the question, “When people marry, do they become happier than they were when they were single?” The answer is no. Married couples experience a slight spike in happiness right after the wedding. However, this happiness soon fades once the honeymoon stage has subsided. The study goes on to conclude, “Singles are targeted with stereotyping and discrimination, and married people are glorified. Yet, paradoxically, getting married does not result in lasting improvements in well-being, and people who have always been single are not very different in health or happiness from people who have been continuously married.” Just because you haven’t found your prince charming yet, does not mean you are unhappy. Happiness is not solely rooted in the love you receive from a significant other. Happiness is a state of mind that you govern, not anyone else. (Cue “Happy” by Pharrell Williams) So ladies, “Clap along if you know what happiness is to you.”
Don’t feel slighted by the world because of the doom and gloom of singlism. Use the eyes of pity as motivation to prove the stereotype wrong. Show them that you found happiness that is not derived from romance, but from life. Being single is a gift! Your single years are your selfish years! Travel through every inch of this world, work overtime to get that promotion, and treat yourself to that shopping spree, because you are an independent woman who knows how to have your cake and eat it too.
Whether you are single and ready to mingle or working your way up the career ladder, make sure to find your happiness in the solo ride. Do me a favor and slay away singlism by challenging all that is thought of the independent women. So put your hands up single ladies because the pity party is over. Let the fun begin.
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