My name’s Rae and I like knitting.
I may or may not be the biggest grandma you’ve ever met. True, I’m only 18 years old, but I’m like olympic gold level grandma.
Why?
Things I enjoy doing:
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Knitting
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Going to bed early on a Friday night
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Documentaries
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Knitting
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Reading the newspaper
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Knitting
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Beethoven
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Tea
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Knitting
Things I’m bad at:
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Pop culture references
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Staying up past 10:00pm
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Any sort of eye liner
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Dancing
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Interactions at parties
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Parties in general
Let me give you a little rundown on how grandma Rae came to be. I started knitting when I was like 10 and it all went downhill from there. End of rundown.
I didn’t make full grandma transformation until my junior year of high school. Before that, I’d stay up till like 2am watching tv. You know, typical teenager things. I couldn’t tell you exactly what happened to really turn me grandma, but I can say I distinctly remember going to bed at 9pm on a Saturday night my senior year of high school and being over the moon about it.
I won’t spare you the details on my grandma transformation, but I will tell you why being a grandma is fucking amazing.
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No one expects you to be awake on a Saturday night.
Let me tell you, while most college kids are out at parties, I’m cuddled up in my bed asleep at like 10pm. I wake up the next morning to my friends complaining about how tired they are. They tell me how they’re sooooo hungover and all they want to do is sleep, but they can’t because they’ve got so much to do.I, on the other hand, am happily eating my oatmeal, planning my day, energized and ready to go.
2. You become grandma of the friend group.
For me, this means making dinner for everyone and asking them about their days. I frickin love sitting down with my friends, buying them a coffee and asking them how school is going, or what they’ve got going on this week. I love it.
3. It’s acceptable to knit in public.
Once you’re outed as a grandma, it’s acceptable to bring your knitting with you everywhere you go. I shit you not, I knit in lecture hall one time and no one said anything. People just kinda looked and nodded in approval at the 18 year old grandma chillin in front of them.
4. You get to spoil your friends.
One of my all time favorite things to do is bring my friends things that they either really want, need, or just like. I have a good friend who only likes the yellow EOS eggs, and for whatever reason, has a hard time finding them.Whenever I see the yellow ones, I’ll buy them for her. She gets so damn excited and it’s adorable.
5. You can hang out with actual grandmas.
There’s nothing I love more than gossiping with old ladies. They go hard. I can’t tell you how many times this semester I’ve called my grandma to get the lowdown on that bitch Edith from book club.
So go forth, knitting enthusiasts, eat some oatmeal, go to bed early, and become the grandmas and grandpas you were always meant to be!