So I am hanging out at this BSU bonfire, having a great time with some great people, and I overhear somebody say “gay camping”. Now before I get too far in this story I think I should clear some things up for the readers who do not already know me well. I am aggressively pansexual, and not a big fan of tents so when I heard “gay camping” I knew I had to be in charge.
So I took charge, of course. I then asked the already involved individuals if they ever thought about gay cabin camping. They responded with some hesitance due to financial concerns that would present themselves if we had a cabin, that wouldn’t be an issue if we used a tent. So it left me wondering how do I make this trip accessible to all interested gays. Then it hit me.
32 peeps.
Hear me out because Lord knows none of them did. I have done the logistical work, and this plan will work. The cabin we would be staying in would cost $100 (priced based off of current rates) per night, and we would be staying two nights.
That’s $200. However, we can’t go gay camping without food so we have to take that price into account. So I went looking around on the interwebs to see what good deals I could get that would feed 32 people for 6 meals and I stumbled upon this 25 lb bag of black beans for $15, and this 25 lb bag of brown rice for $12!
Now I know what you are thinking…what about the alcohol? Don’t worry buddy I’ve got us covered. We finna make hooch. I’ve done the math, but am too lazy to break down the juice, cane sugar, and yeast figures. Let’s just say $100 will easily do us all. We aren’t trying to get wasted anyway, we just want to feel good.
So for the cabin, food, and alcohol we are spending $327! Round up to $350 for any hidden taxes Uncle Sam will demand from us and we are still making a bargain! However, this is when it gets really good and cheap, remember when I mentioned “32 peeps”, this is where they come in. If we divide $350 by 32 people we get $11. Wouldn’t you pay $11 to stay in a cabin in Gatlinburg TN for two nights? Not to mention food and drinks are included?! Wow. A total steal.
For those of you wondering how we are going to get to Gatlinburg without paying for gas/transportation y’all will just have to wait to read the next article “How to Hitchhike 32 Gay Peeps”. Until next time y’all.