HC: Where are you from?
TP: I come from the great state of Virginia, home to such celebrities as Lon Nunley and NASCAR superstar Jeff Burton.
HC: What is your major/ academic interest?
TP: History. Or Music. Or pretty much anything. I don’t know, stop pressuring me.
HC: What are the three adjectives that best describe you- BUT they have to be the same letter of the alphabet?
TP: Gregarious, giggly, and gratifyingly handsome
HC: What’s your favorite zoo animal, and why?
TP: I’m a fan of the honey badger, for obvious reasons.
HC: What former president would you most like to play lawn games with?
TP:Well, for all Herb Hoover’s criticism, I hear the man tossed a mean bocci.
HC: How many Pokemon cards did you have as a child?
TP: Are we talking holographics here? Including original japanese editions?
HC: Dapwell or Little Wayne? Just kidding, that’s obvious.
TP: Dapwell is the songbird of our generation. I’m insulted that you would even compare him to Little Dwayne Michael Carter Jr.
HC: What is your on campus dream date?
TP: My campus dream date would probably consist of a romantic getaway to the top of Hubbard. Or just stacks on stacks on stacks.
HC: We hear you’ve been called “the wizard of sailing.” Can you elaborate on that?
TP: Well, I do wear a lengthy robe out on the water, which has drawn comparisons to wizards such as Harold Potter and Merlin, but I shy away form those kinds of generalizations. Yelling spells at people has gotten me some looks at races, but I mean, get at me, I came to win.
HC: We also hear you’ve been heard serenading lucky ladies around campus. Is it true that you have the voice of an angel?
TP: Lies. I just follow the Longfellows around everywhere. I’ve been handed multiple restraining orders, but I just want to be friends with Fhiwa SOOOO bad.