Relationships. We all want them. Most of us have had one. You meet a nice and cool person (whether boy, girl, or nonbinary), hang out and talk, hit it off, and BAM. You now have a new relationship. Ideally, this is how it would go every time you start talking with someone new, but unfortunately a lot of the time that is not the case. You may be looking for someone to drop the big L-bomb, they may be ready to drop the f-bomb—friendzone. While tell-tale signs of someone’s interests can be relatively straightforward, so are the signs that they’re not interested. If you’re on the boundary line of wondering if that special someone is actually in to you or not, here’s some tips that can help you decide.
- You start all or most of your conversations
Relationships are a two-way street. While you may be a big talker like me, if you’re the only one initiating your conversations, then you need to rethink if your potential relationship really is one. If they’re interested in you at all, they will make a point to talk with you throughout the day.
- They don’t hit you up on social media platforms
Social media a big way to scope out a person, and also a very eligible platform to subtly (or not so subtly) show someone interest while being noninvasive. This could be liking a tweet or that killer selfie you just posted. Someone can follow you on every social media platform available, but if they’re interested, they’ll make their presence on your pages known.
- They don’t pay you compliments
One of the biggest indicators of someone’s interest is if they give you compliments, whether saying you look spectacular or the food you made them is delicious. Someone may be a subtle or cautious flirter, but even then, if they are interested at all and receiving positive vibes from you, they’ll move forward with the compliments.
- They don’t laugh at your jokes or funny stories
You don’t have to be Gabriel Iglesias, but by sharing a joke or a story you’re indicating you think it’s funny and want them to react to it as well. It could honestly not be super funny like my friend’s joke about an electron, but you’re intended partner will laugh even a little and even if they need to fake it if they’re interested.
- They make a point to see you
Texting, snapchatting, and Facebook messenger can only get you so far. Yes, you’re talking to each other, but there’s no face value with them. What really shows interest is if you see that special someone in person. Yes, you can totally extend an invitation to grab coffee, but if they’re serious about moving forward with you, they’re going to purposefully make time to see you.
- You meet their friends
You can do a million things with one person, but there comes a point where you’re going to want to introduce them to your squad—and that goes both ways. If they have the hots for you and want you around, they’re going to start inviting you to do things with their friends. If they don’t, it’s going to start feeling like they purposefully don’t want to introduce you to people they know. When it gets to that point, it’s time to cut the cord. If they start making up excuses to not do things with your friends come the invitation, the same rule applies.
- You don’t know personal things about them
Past the initial get-to-know-you questions that range from what their major is and what year they are, you’re going to start talking and sharing personal things about yourself. For the normal budding relationship, you can spit out how they only drink beer and how they needed knee surgery after a high school football incident. People who like people share personal information about themselves because they want to and they feel they can trust the recipient. True, as friends you may still know some personal information about them, but you’re still just a friend.
- What they talk to you about
Going along with striking conversation and knowing personal things, a huge indicator of someone’s interest is what and how they talk to you. Someone who’s interested in you is not going to talk about how they hooked up with someone last weekend or how they found someone with a great bod on Tinder—I should know, this actually happened to me on a date (they even showed me the picture). They’re going to talk to you with respect and actually listen to what you have to say. Above all, they are going to tease and flirt with you. If they do not flirt at all, this is the truth you need to hear: they are not interested in you being their prospective partner.
- They don’t treat you like they’d treat a potential partner
Your relationship partner is one of the people that you can truly be yourself around without feeling any pressure. Despite this, when the relationship is first starting out, there is a level of nervousness and it’s natural you would put up a bit of a front trying to impress them, and you definitely treat them well and a little differently than you would one of your normal friends. One of the biggest signs that indicates a person’s interest is how exactly they treat you. They don’t need to pull out all of the stops for you, but if you’re getting the feeling that they’re treating you just as another part of the gang (AKA they barely flirt or they don’t…at all) it’s time to reevaluate that person.
- They tell you
Probably the biggest and most straightforward sign of an uninterested person is if they straight up tell you. Whether it be they say they don’t feel the connection, you’re too good of a friend to “mess anything up”, or they’re not ready for a new relationship, it can be devastating to hear. No matter how they say it or in what method (in person, text, etc.), the overall message is still clear: they’re really just not that in to you.