The first Sunday morning of the school year is like any other. Eyes opening slowly, I evaluate the damage. As usual, remnants of potential outfits are strewn across the floor, makeup spread out across the dresser- your standard mess. Starting to recall the events of the night before, I realize I may have actually done the impossible. Did I seriously manage to avoid the evil Lower Live the first night back at school?
I think to myself, “Al, you did it.” As I raise my arm over my head to give myself a pat on the back, I see it. My laptop at the end of my bed, covered in a mysterious white substance. I examine the room more carefully. Peeking out from underneath a shirt on the floor, I spot the culprit: an empty cup of vanilla frozen yogurt. I look down under my sheets. Ah, yes. Rainbow sprinkles and Heath Bar pieces. Late Night had once again foiled my plans to eat healthy.
Made with love by the devil.
Everyone at BC has gotten Late Night one too many times (if you’re a freshman, quit while you’re ahead). Whether it be at one of the dining halls, or maybe a visit to my good friend Che-Chi, after a few drinks, it seems your body becomes a magnet to all things fried. Well collegiettes™, I say we take a stand. This year, join me in the fight against Late Night. I’ve compiled a few simple ways to avoid “morning afters” like the one I had. Trust me, your body and your bandage skirts will thank me.
1. Make sure you have some healthy snacks in your room, so that after a night out you’ll have something to nosh on that isn’t equivalent to an entire day’s worth of calories. Good choices include apples, bananas, cereal, or Chobani.
2. Make an agreement with your friends not to get Late Night. As the saying goes, united we stand, divided we get Late Night.
3. Talk to the cashiers who work at Late Night beforehand and make them pinky swear they won’t let you buy any scary food past 11 pm (even if you drunkenly kneel before them and beg them).
4. If getting a waffle at 1 am means that much to you, compensate by having a smaller dinner or drinking less when you’re out.
5. Reward yourself. If you manage to avoid Late Night for a weekend or a whole month, treat yourself to something yummy another day that you’ll actually remember eating.
6. Just go back to your room and go to sleep. Too often, when the night is dead and my friends and I are back on campus I’ll hear, “Let’s just go to Lower and see who’s there.” Wrong. This is code for Late Night. If you hear this, alarms should be going off in your head; scamper on back up to Co Ro as fast as your heels will take you.
7. Get the people at Student Services to install an alarm system on your Eagle Card (a là Khloe Kardashian) that blares out embarrassingly to everyone in the dining hall when you try and buy Late Night.* As Khloe says to Rob, her Late Night-eating brother, “A moment on the lips is a lifetime on the hips.”
*This is an impossible request.
8. Instead of eating Late Night, what could be more fun than watching other people doing it from the comfort of your own bed? Did you know that BC installed webcams in numerous places on campus, including Lower Dining Hall? Sure, this is the creepier alternative to Late Night, but when you walk past that seemingly perfect, skinny girl in your history class on campus, you will now know that chicken parm subs are her kryptonite. Boom, you just got a free self-esteem boost. View the webcams right here: http://at.bc.edu/webcams/corcoran/
9. Check out what else is offered at Late Night. Everyone flocks to all things hot and sinful, but many people don’t know that Dining Services offers “Late Night Garden Salads.” Seriously. If green and leafy doesn’t satisfy your munchies, and I don’t blame you, settle for something smaller but satisfying. Lately, I’ve been opting for the mini bags of Pirate’s Booty- a snack that leaves me happy, but not wanting to unbutton my jeans in the middle of the dining hall.
10. Cut your Eagle ID in half. Who needs it, really?
Surprise! These really do exist!
Now that I’ve given you these foolproof ways to steer clear of Late Night, the rest is up to you. Godspeed, and hopefully I will not be seeing you in Lower this Saturday night.
Photo Source:
Remy Hassett