Q: Right before the beginning of the year, one of my best friends and I got into a fight. We had become more than friends, but not boyfriend girlfriend and then got in an argument about our future relationship. We have not talked more than a friendly hello in passing the whole school year. It has been one of the roughest years of my life. I want my friend back so badly. Is it ever too late to rekindle a friendship?
Andie’s Advice…
Dear Just Friends,
It is never too late to TRY to rekindle a friendship and I would always encourage it, especially when it’s upsetting you this much. Chances are your friend is hurting just as badly as you are and would be open to talking. But you have to go into this knowing that you may not get the results you want. It’s possible that the two of you could work out your issues and come to the conclusion that you guys can’t be friends. It’s hard to go from a friendship to a romantic relationship and then back again no matter what the terms of the romantic relationship, whether boyfriend and girlfriend or friends with benefits. The feelings involved are 100% different from a strict “friends only” relationship, the rules are completely different and even if the romantic feelings aren’t there anymore, it can be easy to regress to the way things were. From my experience, boys very rarely want to be “just friends.” So talk to him. Sending him a simple text or Facebook message saying “Can we talk?” should get the message across. If he asks what you want to talk about, be upfront and honest with him. Beating around the bush will get you nowhere. See if you guys can work things out. Worst-case scenario, you guys decide you can’t be friends anymore but you can get some closure and move on. Good Luck!
Andie.