Birds & the Bees

Let’s talk SEX. I bet that caught your attention, right? 

I took a survey of college students to see how many people had the sit down “birds and the bees” talk. Of those surveyed, 82% said they haven't had the talk and 18% said they did. This got me thinking about how sex in college is viewed and valued.  

In college, the “hook up” culture has become such a regularity that it does not get quite the attention that it should.   

So sex. Hook-ups. Relationships. Situationships. Virgins. What’s it all about?  

The hook-up culture has become dominant within the college sphere. A hook-up is a more “friends with benefits”/non-attachment/no strings attached type of relationship. What this means is that the two involved have no “couple” relationship, meaning exclusiveness. 

Now, what's the problem with that? For many, there's no problem at all. They're able to walk away from the other person with no emotional connection at all. Just sex, just messing around, and that's it.  

Now for others…there are those who get emotionally invested. And that, sadly, can be a big red flag or a big no-no. It's college, everyone wants to be in their “hoe” phase. Doing what they want, when they want, and how they want without having to answer to anyone or live according to how someone else would want them to, in terms of behavior. Some see it as this is the time to be in your prime years. It's the time for you to make experiences to look back on, all the stupid mistakes and learn from them. It's not the time to fall in love.  

Now for others, they see college as the time to find the “one”. They see college as the time for them to grow up, find love, and settle down. That's okay. Listen up! It's POSSIBLE to find love in college. Don't let the opinions of others discourage you from investing your time into someone. Not EVERYONE in college is wanting to be in their hoe phase, just a reminder.  

This brings me to relationships/situationships. Relationships occur. That's the general, “we are exclusive” situation. But then we find situationships, which is where things get tricky. Not a relationship, but close enough. Just talking, but no real definite exclusiveness. Just like, your “main boo”. The problem here again, can be the idea of attachment, especially because there's no established relationship.  

Attachment. What's the issue with attachment? The problem with attachment is that a vast majority of people who are in college are doing their own thing and don't want to worry about another person. Some don't want to get attached because what if the other person doesn't feel the same? Now you're working yourself up over someone who lowkey…maybe HIGHKEY doesn't care about what you're doing. Sex, for the most part, is a key way for attachment to occur. Some see sex as something “sacred” or intimate and get emotionally invested.  

And what about the minority…the virgins?  

Many people, truthfully, do not want to deal with a virgin because of this idea of attachment. Dear Virgins, 

It's OK! A lot of virgins feel as though sex is something that they're missing out on, especially in college where it is such a popularity. They seem to feel as if there's some sort of pressure to get in tune with what's going on. And I'm here to reassure, that it's okay to take your time. Wait. Wait until you're ready. Don't try to lose your virginity for the hype. You'll be okay.  

If you're a virgin, that's your prerogative. If you're in your prime years, that's your prerogative. And if you're in a relationship, that's your prerogative.  

Don't let the college world suck you in. Just do whatever you feel comfortable doing. It's your life.  

About The Author

Ayanna currently attends the University at Albany, SUNY. She has a major in English and a double minor in Sociology and Africana studies. She's a firm believer in positivity, self-love and working towards her dreams. She's all about positive vibes and positive energy. You can follow her on Twitter & Instagram @ayannaSZN.