Real Live College Guy Sean: If He Sexts Me, Does That Mean He Doesn’t Want A Relationship?

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Broke from calling late night love lines for advice? Looking for the lowdown on the hoedown when it comes to college guys? Real Live College Guy Sean is here to help you pick apart the mind of the average college guy. Whether it’s avoiding that awkward weekend hook-up, or full-on relationship advice, Sean is here to save the day!

So I've been talking to this guy I worked with over the summer almost every day for the past month or so. We never hooked up—that I can remember anyway—over the summer, but since we've been talking it almost always turns to sex. He tells me he wants me to come visit him (he goes to school in a different city) and he once told me I didn't "want to know what [he'd] do to me." I don't want to be anybody's slam-piece, but I don't know if he's worth pursuing as something more. - Texting at Texas Tech

Oh, the cellphone. It’s an amazing piece of technology that can be used to connect people over great distances, but it’s been exploited as a means of laziness for us guys to text girls instead of calling them. It can also be used to separate the genuine “good guys” from the relentless, creepy stalkers like Adam Sandler in 50 First Dates (I can’t be the only one who thought he was psycho-status).

In case you were wondering, this guy falls in to the latter category. You probably had time to hang out, see each other semi-regularly, you probably got along pretty well over the summer. If you guys worked together over the summer and he was interested in you, then why didn’t he try to get things going then? The fact that it’s now November and you’ve only been talking for about a month, isn’t that a bit weird? But when he repeatedly turns the conversation to sex, wants you to come visit him, and sends you creepy messages about what he’d do to you, that’s some Grade A American Beauty material. Run. Now.

Unfortunately, a lot of guys rely on their phones to say (or I guess, text) things that are too hard to say in person. Getting rejected for a date is much easier to swallow when you aren’t standing face to face. I personally think any real man should ask a girl out in person, but I digress. He could just be bashful and bad at flirting in 160 characters or less. Perhaps his “you don’t want to know what I’d do to you” text is his way of flirting. He may have hoped it would come off as funny or sexy, but in reality, a message like this is just plain creepy.

The point is, this guy is very questionable to me. The red flags seemingly outweigh the potential of the relationship. You haven’t even hooked up and he’s already testing the waters about rounding third and heading for home. Why not try to find someone on your campus? There are many other (less creepy) fish in the sea.

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About The Author

Sean is a senior at the University of Pittsburgh majoring in communications and minoring in film studies. Attending NYU in the fall to pursue a Masters in Journalism, Sean enjoys writing about virtually anything. In his time at Pitt, Sean has worked as a DJ for an automotive program on campus and abroad in London.

Sean is originally from Rhode Island, which is far from Pittsburgh, but he is fond of the scenic drive. Sean likes tea instead of coffee, photography, and fire alarm testing (through his cooking). Sean also enjoys playing guitar and piano, skiing, golfing, and practical jokes. You can follow Sean on Twitter at @seanmcfarland1.