Sure, committing one of the Seven Deadly Sins might not actually kill you. But I promise it can poison a relationship. When it comes to your love life, are you greedy, lazy, wrathful, proud, lustful, envious, or gluttonous? You may be surprised…
Greed
If I had a nickel for every time a girl broke up with a sweet, attractive, perfectly dateable guy because she thought that she could do better, I’d have at least enough money to take those adorable guys out for drinks. And I would. Your boyfriend is not going to be a Calvin Klein underwear model. (But let’s be honest, neither are you.) So stop picking at every negative quality in every guy you meet just because you’re holding out for a perfect 10—because when you get greedy you run the risk of overlooking how perfect your 8.5 really is.
Sloth
I don’t care if you have a king-size bed with plush satin sheets, a 90-inch plasma screen TV, and a never-ending supply of munchies…stop making him trek across campus to your building every time you hang out. A relationship is about compromise, mutual effort, give-and-take, so put on your snow boots and show him that he’s worth the walk across the quad. Your relationship (and your thighs…and your roommate) will thank you.
Wrath
Everybody loses it. I’m not going to tell you to take deep breaths or go to a happy place; in fact, I’m feeling wrathful just thinking about being condescendingly told to “stay calm.” Just try to keep your voice down, your allegations fair, and your doors closed. Postponing date night until next week because he’s catching a cold and has a paper due Monday probably isn’t grounds for World War 3, so keep your fire friendly.
Pride
What is it about having a new boyfriend that makes us want to Google wedding dresses and watch weepy episodes of A Baby Story on TLC? We get it, someone thinks you’re attractive and interesting enough to be seen in public with. And that can be exciting. But once you start getting a little too proud of your new fling (think premature Facebook relationship statuses, introducing him to everyone you’ve ever met, and using the words ‘boyfriend’ and ‘baby’ more than his name), you risk letting your pride ruin your relationship.
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Lust
Everyone knows that lusting after other men is a big relationship no-no, but even lusting after your own man can be a dangerous sin. Have you ever found yourself too busy making out to ask him about his day? Know his favorite position but not his middle name? Does movie night always turn into “movie” night? Unless you pry yourselves apart long enough to have a vertical conversation, the only thing you’ll be lusting after is the relationship you just kissed goodbye.
Envy
Mark Zuckerberg is a genius, but he’s never been a jealous girlfriend; no nosy collegiette™ could stay sane spending hours re-reading flirty wall-to-walls, scanning incriminating spring break pictures, and commenting on statuses of girlfriends past. I will spare you hours of wasted time, countless fights, and the pain of envious snooping. Your boyfriend has kissed other girls; his ex-girlfriend is still alive; he thinks his lab partner is cute; attractive women occasionally find him attractive; not everyone in his life knows you exist. But he still (probably) likes you a lot, so save your relationship by easing up on the Facebook envy. Your boyfriend will “like” it.
Gluttony
Listen up, girl who practically hibernates in a love nest of cuddle sessions and movie nights: too much of a good thing can be a very, very bad (not to mention annoying) thing. If you’re realizing that you forgot your best girlfriend’s phone number because you’ve been so busy spending every waking moment canoodling with your man, throw out your copy(s?) of The Notebook, cover up your hickies, and remember everything else that’s important in your life. Not only will your friends and family appreciate your return to society, but also your smothered boyfriend will finally get to re-join his fantasy football league and enjoy a guys’ night in peace. Think of it as saving room for dessert.
We all can be sinners when it comes to love, and our guys can be guilty, too. So if you’re a relationship glutton, greed, or angry girlfriend (or if you feel inclined to subtly send this to someone who is…), vow to suck up your pride (*see: pride) and atone for your sins!