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The Dump-O-Meter: The Worst Ways to Get Dumped, From Bad to Worse

Posted Dec 21 2012 - 12:00am
Tagged With: break-ups, love

Getting dumped is the absolute pits.  We’ve all been kicked to ye olde curb at least once in our lives (thanks a heap, Doug*, you crushed my fifth grade spirit), and it is never a picnic.  It is really the nature of the dumping, however, that determines the moroseness of the dumpee.  I believe the calculus is something like [(douchebag + new girlfriend) – thoughtfulness] x (# of times “it’s not you” mentioned) = # of pints Ben and Jerry’s consumed; but hey, math was never my strong suit.  If you’d like to think about it more linearly, here’s my list of ways to be dumped, from bad, to worse . . . to worst.

*name changed to protect the not-so-innocent

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