When you and your boyfriend are facing an issue, it can be tough to figure out what's fixable and what's an ongoing problem that won't improve. After all, you're so wrapped up in the situation, how can you see it clearly? For times when you're not sure what to do, read these 9 reasons it's time to dump him.
1. He doesn't support your goals
What did Aretha Franklin teach you? R-E-S-P-E-C-T! If your boyfriend doesn't respect or support your goals or values, it's time to kick him to the curb. “When I was with my ex-boyfriend, I was so excited to cover my first fashion show for my blog,” says Kelsey Mulvey, a collegiette from Boston University. “Instead of supporting me and cheering me on, he barely cared. How are you supposed to be happy with someone if they aren't a part of your fan club?”
A truly supportive boyfriend should act as your own professional cheer squad – that means everything from coming to watch your volleyball championship game to sending you a good luck text before your orgo final, even if he hates sports and is equally as swamped with studying.
Stephanie Welling, a student at Chatham University, hits the nail on the head: “If the person I'm dating has no apparent respect for me, then I have no time for them.”
2. He doesn't make an effort to get along with your friends
In a perfect world, your best friend and your boyfriend would love each other just as much as you love them. While that's not always the case, your boyfriend should at least make an effort to get along. Kelsey says, “My ex-boyfriend (the same ex... what a winner, right?) had a really hard time getting along with some of my friends. He tried to pit me against my friends and, as a person who puts her friends first, I'll never tolerate that behavior again.”
Even if they aren't best buds, your boyfriend should be willing to hang out with your crew from time to time – and at least as often as you hang out with his friends! If he can't manage to do that, well, you know what's coming next: chicks before d*cks, remember?
3. He doesn't make time for you
Does this texting conversation look familiar?
You (1:09 PM): hey, want to get dinner tonight?
Him (2:37 PM): not sure if i'm free
You (2:39 PM): oh, well if you are, i was planning on going to the dining hall at 6
You (5:50 PM): just letting you know i'm leaving my dorm now! hope to see you there
Him (10:20 PM): sorry, something came up
Even Prince Charming might occasionally forget to reply to a text or be forced to cancel plans when something school-related pops up. But if you're never able to pin down your guy to hang out, that doesn't give you much time to develop an actual relationship. This kind of guy typically isn't looking for anything more than a booty call. If you're looking for more than that, it's time to pass.
Katrina Margolis from the University of Virginia used to be in this frustrating situation. “He would only come over when it was convenient for him, and even if he did stay the night, he would leave at 5 AM,” she says. “If a guy can't make time for you, he's definitely not worth your time.”
4. He's constantly clingy
Is your Stage Five Clinger suffocating you? A clingy boyfriend might be awesome at first (I mean, who doesn't like to be showered with attention? But before long, the Stage Five Clinger will pout every time you're with your friends instead of him or you need a night to yourself. If you're finding it hard to breathe, sit down and let your guy know (nicely, of course). Try initiating the conversation with, “I love spending time with you, but I also need time for myself, too. Don't take it personally if I can't hang out all the time.” If he still isn't getting the message, it may be time to move on. If you only hang out with your boyfriend day after day, that ultimately takes a toll on other parts of your life: you might start to neglect your friends or become co-dependent on him.