Ever wonder what guys think, how to deal with them, or whether instead of listening to you they just imagine you naked? Our Real Live College Guy Joe will answer all your questions about men and relationships with wit, clarity, grace and physical attractiveness (can you tell he wrote this intro himself?) all while imagining you fully clothed! Well, usually – he is a college guy.
I met a great guy two weekends ago, and we’ve been texting every day for the past two weeks (majority him initiating)…but finals are next week, and we’ll be heading our separate ways this summer. I don’t think I’m interested in being committed over the summer, but I still want to keep this guy around/in my life next semester. I don’t know what he’s thinking, but I’m sure we’ll be talking things over sometime soon before leaving. Thoughts/comments/suggestions of how to approach this situation?
– Finals Flinger at Florida State
Not many people want to be committed over the summer, so I’m betting your textfriend feels the same as you. How else could he spend his steamy summer nights draped in the sultry embraces of two Brazilian women, clothed in the scantest of shifts, in good conscience? Just kidding. If he’s a regular guy (by which I mean pale, below average height, delusional to think he’s qualified to give love advice but really nice!) he won’t be. But, if he does have that kind of life—one in which he never has to feed himself his grapes—then you’ve done well for yourself.
The best thing you can do, as in any budding relationship, is to be honest with your intentions. In the middle of your talk about the summer, you should rip off your clothing, revealing a skimpy pink bikini underneath, and say “You see this bod? You think I’m just gonna let it wither away? Yes, I’m aware that we’re in a Starbucks.” He should get the point.
In all seriousness, just sit the ol’ boy toy down, and tell him you want to do your own thing for the summer but want to continue dating when you’re back at school. There is a danger here: in a guy’s mind, “doing your own thing” translates, roughly, to “gangbang gangbanging your own gangbang.” But, as long as you are clear that you’re still interested in him and that you just want to be free of commitments over the summer, and that the gangbangs are going to be really good, I’m sure he’ll understand.
I’m not saying you should just drop him for a few months and expect him to be waiting for you when September rolls around. That would be unfair to him. Stay in touch, support each other—even if you end up seeing other people, which I suggest you be honest about—and then see how you each feel about continuing your relationship in the fall. It’s just, keeping up a long distance relationship is hard—for the girl and the guy. As long as you come to an agreement that works for both of you, he will appreciate the freedom to spend his summer however he wants, too, which will probably include weeping over you in whatever manner he sees fit.
You can also give him something to remember you by. This will definitely show him you’re still interested, and it can be as simple as a framed picture. Or a blow-up doll customized to your exact facial and bodily measurements. During times apart, it’s nice to have a tangible object to remind you there’s someone out there interested in you, even if she is currently gunning hard for first place in a wet T-shirt contest.
Fill out my online form.