Imagine that you’ve been spending time with a really cute guy, and you’re starting to have feelings for him. He hasn’t made a move yet and you definitely want him to ask you out on a date. The only problem is, you aren’t sure how to encourage him to ask you out without being too obvious about your feelings for him. So what’s a girl to do? Her Campus, with the help of J.M. Kearns, relationship expert and author of Shopping for Mr. Right, has the answers you’re looking for in five easy steps!
Step 1: Get Noticed
Okay so you may or may not have been admiring this campus cutie from afar. Now that you’re interested, you have to put yourself on his radar. Whether it’s sitting next to him in class on a regular basis or mentioning something to him in passing, it’s important that he starts to recognize who you are. “I really liked this guy that I worked with, but I wasn’t sure he even really knew who I was,” says Claire*, a junior at the University of Missouri. “I started to work harder so that I would stand out to him and made my presence obvious at work. Eventually, he started a conversation and things moved from there.”
Get his attention by noticing things he’s interested in. Does he wear a Chicago Blackhawks jersey to class sometimes? Ask him if he’s planning to watch the upcoming game. Is there a big test coming up in the class? Take a seat next to him and ask how he plans to study for the exam. Do the two of you have mutual friends? Mention how funny you think it is that you two never crossed paths before. Check out our article on how to get a guy to notice you for more tips and tricks!
Step 2: Start a Conversation
How do you find out if you really like a guy? By getting to know him, of course! “For a guy and girl to have real potential, they need two things,” says Kearns. “First, they need mutual physical attraction, which is arbitrary and unpredictable. It just exists or it doesn’t. And they need the potential for a great friendship, having lots of stuff in common, which is more predictable.” Ask him about the homework in class and then translate that to more school-related questions, like what his major is and why he chose your university. Or, if you meet at a party, ask how he knows the host. Start with small-talk to get acquainted, and it’ll naturally progress into more meaningful conversations as time passes.
Step 3: Show Your Interest
Before he puts you in the friend zone, you have to show that you’re interested in him. “If the girl finds the guy attractive, then she needs to let him know she is interested and see how he reacts,” says Kearns. “Assuming he does feel these things for her, it isn’t going to be easy to keep these two people apart. Unless he, for some reason, doubts that she is interested in him and wants to date him.”
Guys are just as afraid of rejection as girls are, and he is probably looking for a sign that you would say yes if he asked you on a date. “I really liked this guy and wasn’t sure what he thought about me,” says Meg*, a senior at Indiana University. “I casually mentioned that me and a bunch of my friends were having a tailgate that weekend and that he should stop by. He came and we hung out for the majority of the day – it was a great way to spend time together without any pressure!”