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The 7 Guys You’ll Meet During Summer Break

Posted May 21 2013 - 7:00pm
Tagged With: dating, humor, lists, summer

Now that summer’s finally here, you’re free: free to sleep in, free to show off your tan in short-shorts, and–most exciting of all–free to find yourself a fine-looking man! Whether you’re a seasoned summer love vet or you’re fresh on the dating scene, you’ll need to know your options.

1. The Beach Bum

It wouldn’t feel right to talk about the boys of summer without first featuring the most summer-loving guy of all: the Beach Bum. Most often spotted sans shirt and shoes, the beach bum does exactly what you’d expect him to do: bum on the beach. Whether he’s surfing every morning, challenging unsuspecting strangers to heated games of volleyball, or even holding court as the lifeguard in the tall chair, this guy never seems to leave the beach. (And we mean never.) You look at him and you imagine you hear “Kokomo” playing softly somewhere...

What does this mean? First off, he probably has a killer tan. You might have a bit of a complex when you sit next to him–where have you been, hiding under a rock all summer? He also probably has some natural highlights that you find supremely adorable (provided you ignore the fact that they make him look like a Backstreet Boy). On top of all that, he has a beach-ready body (read: washboard abs, toned legs, and arms that could carry you comfortably into the sunset). Overall, he’s a good catch... for the summer only.

It’s all fun (and sun) and games with the Beach Bum during the summer months, when you always know where to find him. Chances are, however, that when it comes time to head back to school in September, you’ll find the Beach Bum out of reach. Unless your school happens to feature waterfront property, he probably isn’t going to show up on your campus. If he does go to your school or even attend one nearby, you might find that that he becomes a little, well, boring. When surfing is your life, what are you going to do when it starts to snow? Probably nothing. Enjoy him for the season, collegiettes, but keep in mind that all good summer flings must come to an end!

2. The High-Powered Intern

The beach is the last place that you’ll find this go-getter. The High-Powered Intern spends his days in a swanky office in the big city, attending important meetings and making tough calls on product development. In all honesty, he’s probably just working in some forsaken corner of the office with the other interns, but who’s to know? He wears nice pants and a tie, which means “professional” to you. We can guarantee that underneath those grown-up clothes, he has no tan whatsoever. This guy barely sees sunlight anymore.

Don’t expect any fancy dinner dates with this guy–he’s probably operating on an unpaid intern’s salary. Expect interesting conversation about his job–provided it actually is an interesting job–and about his hopes, dreams, goals... The best thing about the High-Powered Intern is that he’s driven and knows what he wants (which could be you!).

The downside is that the High-Powered Intern is generally busy for most of the time – unlike your everyday average intern, he isn’t satisfied with just working the 9-5. This means that if you don’t have a full-time gig yourself, you may find yourself feeling a little lonely. Internships are also a lot more stressful than lazy summer days spent lounging on the beach, so don’t be shocked if he gets a little high-strung every so often. Help him blow off some steam by taking him to a theme park on a Saturday or catching a movie after work!

3. The Volunteer

The Volunteer is probably the most promising of the summer boy set, but don’t tell him we said that! The Volunteer gets involved because he cares about others more than himself, not because he wants to pick up girls! (If you find a Volunteer who actually is trying to get girls with his man-on-a-mission persona, start walking in the opposite direction and warn all women you pass.)

Whether he’s out every day working with children or settled in an office of a non-profit, the Volunteer is always doing what he does best: helping. You can’t quite put your finger on what it is you love about it so much. Is it his Superman-style, save-the-world attitude? His selfless refusal to accept pay for his time? Or is it that he just looks so darn cute playing patty-cake with little kids? Whatever the reason, the Volunteer is a definite “do.”


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