La Petite Amie

Weight gain is one of the most common fears among collegiettes™ looking to indulge in foreign fare while simultaneously hoping to stay slender. Maybe you’re aiming to look sexy in one of those skimpy swimsuits while lying on the sun-drenched beaches of Saint Tropez. Or, perhaps, you have an itty-bitty mini dress you’ve been banking on wearing for a night of raging in Rome with dreams of finding your Casanova. Either way, undeniably so, many of us want to look our finest and fittest while globetrotting and, ladies, this is your guide to doing so.

To begin with, let’s address the issue of WHY we as Americans happen to gain weight while exploring foreign lands. Well, part of the allure of journeying to a previously undiscovered place is trying the local delicacies. For instance, when I imagine myself in Paris, I automatically begin to fantasize of how I would leisurely spend my day, living like a local, by beginning my morning at a boulangerie, a café crème in hand, noshing on a pain au chocolat. Before long, after wandering through the Louvre, or maybe perusing through vintage clothing shops in the Marais, I would sit on the Pont Des Arts and watch the sunset while my best friend and I would split a bottle of wine, a reel of camembert, and an entire baguette (no joke).

More concerned with the outcome of his upcoming snappa tournament than tomorrow’s calculus midterm, consistently making Jack-in-the-Box his final stop of any drunken night, and always down for bro-ing out with “the dudes” over some FIFA; yes ladies, this is our classic, American college sweetheart.

Have you ever walked into a frat party and found a group of men debating politics over a glass of Merlot? Nope. Have you ever, in fact, found any men on this campus discussing anything noteworthy over any drink besides a cheap natty light? I haven’t. The problem with most American college males is that, rather than focusing on real-life issues, these testosterone-pumped alpha males are more focused on calculating whether the savings on low-grade natty light will outweigh the optimal taste of Blue Moon (well, at least economics is somewhat on their minds). Although it may seem discouraging for some of us, fear not because there are some men out there…they just happen to be abroad.

That being said, I decided to go to Paris with the intention of thoroughly enjoying every sip of café crème, visiting the Louvre at my leisure, and consuming as much cheap wine, cheese, and baguettes that my body could handle. With self-indulgence on my mind, I didn’t really anticipate any of that Parisian romance most girls fantasize about until, one night, I finally decided to give in to one of my admirers and ended up on the most romantic date I could have ever imagined.