Jamie Blynn

“Mirror mirror on the wall, will my lab partner ask me out, after all?”

It’s a tale as old as time: girl meets boy, girl obsesses over boy, and girl does something stupid to chase boy away. Obviously, our college years aren’t synonymous with a happily ever after that includes a sunset and a Celine Dion soundtrack, but that doesn’t mean we can’t dream—we may just have to settle for a “castle” (read: frat house) instead. But sitting on the couch rewinding our favorite Disney classics hoping for lust, love, and for our sadly unattractive classmate to magically turn into the hottest campus cutie (hey, it worked for Belle), isn’t exactly helping. In fact, come to think of it, our beloved Disney Princesses aren’t necessarily the greatest role models, to say the least — I don’t see a fairy godmother appearing at my doorstep ready to dress me to the nines. So just where are our royal role models steering us wrong? We’ve hovered over are classic VHS tapes and have uncovered the lessons you shouldn’t be taking from our idolized princesses.

Ariel: The less you wear, the more likely he’s going to like you

I’ll give her some credit because she does land Prince Eric, who’s definitely one of the hotter cartoon princes, but other than that, the undersea princess couldn’t be more desperate for her man’s attention. Not only does she compromise her voice for a pair of legs — um, hello so much more maintenance!—but she silently (literally) waits around in a barely-there shell bikini for Eric to come her way. And it totally works: the less you wear and the quieter you are, the more likely you’ll be able to land the man of your dreams.

Just to make things clear, when it comes to Grouper, we’re not talking about the fish. It’s actually a dating site (or as they prefer, social club) that sets you and your two best friends up with another group of three friends.

How it works

After you apply for membership (don’t worry, this isn’t an elite club that only Chuck Bass and Blair Waldorf can get accepted into), Grouper will match you with someone else using your Facebook profile. But, they’re not checking out how hot you are, rather, they set you up based on age, educational background, profession, interests, and lifestyle. On top of all that, they also ask you what you’re looking for—from older guys, to just about your age, to youngins’ if that’s what you’re into.  Although the site doesn’t mention any age requirements, it’s most likely a 21+ kind of deal, since Grouper typically sends you to a bar to meet up with your dates. On that note, once matched, you invite two wing-women to tag along and the guys do the same. After that, you pay Grouper $20, they pick a restaurant or bar, and then set you all up with a round of free drinks.

The pros and cons

These days just about everyone thinks they’re a comedian.  From the bookworm in your econ class to the gym fanatic that you always spot freshly off the treadmill, it seems like every person on campus thinks they have what it takes to make your abs cry in pain from laughing so hard. And, of course, just where do they let the jokes fly? In 140-character one-liners on Twitter, obviously. 

But with over 500 million users roaming the Twitterverse, it can be hard to find the genuinely hysterical people who turn comedy into a true art form—seriously, there are far too many copycats with disturbingly unfunny jokes out there.  We get it, YOLO is the carpe diem for stupid people, and we hate to break it to you, but we know you didn't come up with that one on your own. 

So collegiettes, to help you let loose and crack up at your computer screen we’ve narrowed it down to what we think are the 10 most laugh-out-loud funny Twitter accounts.  These comics and celebrities will definitely have you LOL’ing and desperate for more—they’re too funny to resist and completely #hilarious. 

Paul Feig, @paulfeig

Joan Rivers, @Joan_Rivers

Whoever said Valentine’s Day was just for paired off couples was seriously misguided. As young, fun, and amazingly awesome collegiettes, we definitely do not need a plus one to have a good time. So this V-Day, we’re saying whatever to romance, and hello to celebrating and loving (okay, obsessing) over ourselves—mourning flower shops’ and candy stores’ most treasured day is such a thing of the past. From outfit options and activities to recipes and gifts (for yourself, of course), HC has got you completely covered with a little help from our single girl’s guide to Valentine’s Day. Defy Cupid and make February 14th the best day, ever.

What to wear

Let’s be real, we all love to wear black. It’s timeless and classic and basically goes with everything. And while we’re totally for a great all black outfit, on V-Day it’s just too obvious of a choice. Yeah, you’re flying solo for the Hallmark holiday, but that doesn’t mean you have to literally look like you’re mourning your lack of a plus one with a side of romance. Puh-lease. So instead, spice things up with a splash of color. Studies actually show that wearing bright colors will instantly make you more cheerful and happy. We’re obviously not recommending you walk out in neon green spandex and a bright yellow sweater, but try something a little more festive than your go-to black leggings and chunky gray sweater. Since love is apparently in the air, go for something red, Bordeaux, or dare we say it, hot pink!

Pink Colored Skinnies, $24.80 from Forever 21