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Ally Karsyn

More by Ally Karsyn

He's Just Not That Into You: 8 Excuses Guys Make and What They Really Mean

1/10/2013

By now, most of us have read the book or watched the movie He’s Just Not That Into You. Guys send this message more times than we care to notice. Instead, we make excuses. We think a guy’s not calling or texting because he has a busy week with homework and classes or maybe work and friends. Or maybe he’s in a place with no cellphone service. Ah yes, that must be it.

But it doesn’t end there. Our female minds have a curious way of twisting words to make what a guy says not seem so bad. He says he doesn’t want a relationship right now, but you pass that off as a minor detail and think if you give him enough time and space, he’ll realize he wants to be with you. Let’s face it: you’d have to be living in a rom-com film for that to come true.

You’ll come up with any excuse to escape the fact that he might not like you as much as you thought he did or, in the words of author Greg Behrendt, “He’s just not that into you.” It’s time to get back in touch with reality and figure out what these guys are really trying to say.

I’m sharing with you eight excuses guys make and what they really mean, plus an added dose of reality for good measure.

The Excuse: He says he just got out of a bad relationship, and he’s afraid of getting hurt again.

8 Reasons Not to Get Back Together With Your Ex-Boyfriend

9/19/2012

After going it alone for the past few months, you may be second-guessing your breakup with your boyfriend before summer began. Obviously, something wasn’t working, and that’s why you broke up. But before going back for Round 2 (or maybe it’s 3 or 4), you may want to ask yourself, why do you want to get back together?

Broken relationships require a lot of work to fix, and in the long run, you may find that too much damage has been done. The allure of an ex is the familiarity and predictability he has to offer, but that’s not a good enough reason to reconcile if he wasn’t good for you and you weren’t happy in the relationship.

Natalie Lue, founder and blogger of “Baggage Reclaim,” a dating and relationship blog, along with tips from Ellie Scarborough and Amy Lynch of Pink Kisses, will help you to figure out if you should move on from your ex.
 
So stop taping those torn pictures of the two of you back together, and read the eight reasons you should not be getting back together with your ex-boyfriend (because we know how tempting it is).

Dating Younger: What Freshman Guys Really Think of You

9/11/2012

After two or three years of college, the college dating scene can get a little old. Maybe it’s gotten to the point where you can’t walk across campus without seeing a past hook-up buddy, boyfriend or one of their current girlfriends. If this sounds like the situation you’re in, it’s time to try something new – or, shall we say, someone new.
 
With the fall semester quickly approaching, we’ll say so long to summer and hello to the new crop of campus cuties: freshman boys. Dating a freshman guy certainly has its advantages. “One of the perks is that it gives you a much bigger playing field of options for dating, and you have more experience as an upperclassman to know what you want physically as well as emotionally,” says Dr. Brenda Schaeffer, a psychologist and sex addiction expert.
 
“You may also find it easier to share your power rather than give it away to someone older and bolder,” Dr. Schaeffer adds. “You have more opportunities to enter a relationship, be in a relationship and end a relationship, which are important discoveries at this time of life.”
 
That all sounds good, right? But since you’re older and bolder than he is, he may be looking for you to fill one or more roles in his college life. Read on to find out what they are and how to handle being placed in each one...

Trophy Girlfriend

Girl Code: What's Ok & What's Not According to Collegiettes

3/7/2012

Your best friend’s guy is off-limits. Or is he? Some girls wouldn’t think twice about having anything to do with a friend’s ex-boyfriend, but others manage to find “legal” loopholes and ways to justify doing it. Then there are the guys you just hooked up with – and while you know you have impeccable taste in men and can’t really blame your girlfriends for wanting a piece of that action – you find it odd to discover that a friends of yours hooked up with the same guy as you. Is that okay?

6 Relationship Resolutions Every Collegiette Could Stand to Make

12/29/2011

A year in review: your love life, circa 2011. Whether you experienced a dating dry spell, a string of casual dates that didn’t go anywhere or a continued less than ideal long-term relationship, you know there’s room for improvement. So whether you’re single, dating, or in a relationship, you can take something away from each of these resolutions to revive your love life in the New Year.
 
Love the new you (and the old you too)
 
As founder and president of a successful matchmaking service called Intersections Match, Jasbina Ahluwalia knows a thing or two about finding love. But as always, it starts with you. She said, “If you don’t love yourself, you can’t expect anyone else to either.” So how do you go about forming a fabulous life? Fortunately for you, Ahluwalia gave a few ideas for what you can do to love yourself and build self-esteem.
 
Eating healthy and finding a physical activity you enjoy were at the top of her list. Between cooking and exercise, you have quite the array of options and activities. If you’re looking to cook, Cheap Healthy Good is a delightful blog that features frugally nutritious recipes from all different kinds of cuisines including Thai, Indian and Italian. For exercise, think about taking yoga, Zumba or dance classes. Who said exercise can’t be fun?
 

FBI Begins Process to Redefine Rape

11/22/2011

One in five collegiettes™ will be a victim of sexual assault in college. But what is sexual assault? What "counts" as rape? Not all sexual assaults are forced – some are coerced – and sometimes the victims are men. These are just a couple scenarios that may soon constitute rape under federal law.

Who Should Pay On Dates? Guys & Girls Weigh In

11/12/2011

So I’m out on a coffee date with this guy. We get to the cashier and what does he do? Well, he doesn’t whip out his wallet, ready to pay. No, he sneaks away to the bathroom. Call it a guy’s fake purse-grab – his not-so-subtle way of getting out of paying.
 
I order a small mocha and hand over $2.79, then stand and wait for my date to reappear, all the while wondering if I had given him a look that said – are you going to pay for that?
 
There’s nothing like an awkward moment to start a date.
 
Now in his defense, it was our first date. It was casual. And I had asked him.
 
Should he have paid? Maybe. Depends who you ask.
 
Back in the days of commonly practiced chivalry and courtship, this wouldn’t even be a question. Yes would be the undisputed answer. But now, we’re not so quick to agree on the terms and conditions of who should cover the bill.
 
Here’s what nine savvy college students and recent graduates had to say about who should pay for dates:
             
If you cling to tradition…

Birth Control Access and Awareness: Are You Covered and Clued In?

9/28/2011

A honeymoon baby wasn’t the welcome-home gift they had in mind, but just two weeks after returning from an all-inclusive Mexican resort, the newlyweds discovered a baby was on the way.
 
Kelly,* 21, worried birth control pills would interfere with her fertility later on and ruled them out as a contraceptive option. And the couple didn’t want to use a condom for their first time, so they decided the rhythm method was their best form of birth control, not realizing how complicated natural family planning can be. Looking at the calendar, Kelly said, “I didn’t think I could get pregnant.”

The Story of a One Cent Wedding Dress that Could Be Yours

8/15/2011

One rainy afternoon in New York City, two old friends scoured the Nordstrom Rack for formal gowns, picking out anything frilly, fringed or feathered just for a good laugh. But a poly satin wedding gown, priced at one cent, got the best of both of them.

Yue Xu and her friend Vanessa have made a habit of searching for over-the-top gowns on the reduced prices rack at Nordstrom whenever they get together. It’s their thing. They never expected to find a simply-stated, elegant wedding dress in the midst of raucous ruffles and sassy sequins.

But the classic-styled Jessica McClintock bridal gown caught Vanessa’s eye, and the price tag made Yue do a double-take. One cent was printed on the price tag. One penny for a wedding dress that retails for $275.

“Yue, try it on,” Vanessa said. Even though she’s a single girl with no wedding plans in sight, Singlefied.com dating coach Yue Xu slipped into the size 4 wedding dress to humor her friend.

Both of them were shocked by its beauty. Their over-the-top dress hunt wasn’t a laughing matter anymore.

Could this dress only cost a penny?

Free Birth Control Criticized by Presidential Candidate

8/7/2011

At least one GOP presidential hopeful opposes the recent government action that requires health insurance companies to provide women with free birth control. Pro-life politician Rick Santorum said that contraception leads to more casual sex, promiscuity, sexually transmitted diseases and abortion. And he's willing to make a case against it.

“For the federal government to be supporting that, I think is wrong, and I’ll make that case,” Santorum said during a stop in Iowa on Thursday. “We don’t need to fund a lot of issues that the federal government sees to their way to promote sexual freedom. That’s the agenda of the Left because they understand that promoting sexual freedom undermines traditional values, undermines family, undermines the moral, cultural basis of our country. And I’m not going to be a part of that. ”

On Monday, the required health plan coverage guidelines were released for women's preventative services. On Thursday, Republican presidential candidate Santorum took his stand on the issue, saying, “Under ObamaCare, the federal government recently said they are requiring all health plans to carry contraception, all to carry the morning-after pill, Plan B. Obama said we’re not going to have abortion as part of health care. Now, he’s saying Plan B, which is an abortifacient, is now going to be required in every health plan.”

Plan B One-Step is an emergency contraception similar to birth control. According to Plan B’s FAQs, it works by: “preventing ovulation; possibly preventing fertilization by altering tubular transport of sperm and/or egg; and altering the endometrium, which may inhibit implantation.”