Real Live College Guy Ryan: How to Get Closure with Your Ex Before You Graduate

Need Dr. Drew relationship advice but don’t have the sensationalistic drama to warrant TV time? Unfortunately, Real Live College Guy Ryan isn’t a reality show therapist. However, he can provide the lowdown on everything you’ve ever wanted to know about college males: how they think, act, speak and genuinely interact with the women in their lives.

I'm graduating and would love to talk to my on-again-off-again boyfriend of four years one last time before we both enter the real world (and move to different coasts). The last time we spoke, he told me that it hurts too much to talk to me and asked me not to contact him. That was about six months ago. Is it inappropriate to say "I'd love to see you before we graduate. Can we get coffee?" - Looking for Closure at Lehigh

Nah, of course it isn’t inappropriate. Depending on what sort of closure you’re looking for, it’d actually be great. Although his definition of closure is wallowing in some sort of Edgar Allan Poe graveyard of memories and woe, yours—seeing him one last time—is actually reasonable.

This isn’t to say that he’ll actually respond. If he’s still in some Golem-esque cave, then he might not come out for coffee. But it’s worth the try. Keep your reaching out to a text. Make it short, sweet and simple and just say you’d like to meet for coffee.

However, don’t say that you’d like to see him “one last time” or something similar. If he’s going to even consider meeting you, qualifying your rendezvous as a last-time venture will only scare him more. Just say that you’d like to see him and would enjoy if he accompanied you for a cup of Joe (whether it’s your morning injection or an afternoon pick-me-up doesn’t really matter).
 

Fill out my online form.