Okay, let’s be real – we’ve all been the girl crying in her bed, watching endless romantic comedies, and eating a tub of ice cream after a break-up. No matter how long the relationship lasted, break-ups are tough. The rejection, the loss of contact, the sting of loneliness… well, it can make us all a little crazy. There are times, however, when in our moments of desperation, we make a few bad decisions. Usually, these decisions lead to more problems, more tears, and more pain, which is why Her Campus is here to call them out, so you don’t have the most disastrous breakup ever!
1. Constantly Monitoring His Facebook Profile
Sometimes Facebook makes it almost too easy to keep tabs on someone. And after an especially tough breakup, you basically have a right to monitor your ex-boyfriend. I mean, if a pretty girl writes an inside joke on his wall, it’s definitely your prerogative to ‘like’ it as a way of asserting your claim to him. Even more so, when pictures of him are posted, you should definitely ‘friend’ the person who posted them, then continuously monitor his/her Facebook too, in case your ex-boyfriend untagged any photos of himself. And in terms of being the crazy ex-girlfriend, the best tool on Facebook may in fact be the Events page. You can see where he will be, what time he will be there, and who else is going. Then you can use that information to casually run into him… surprise! “I still look at my ex-boyfriend’s Facebook,” admits Claire, a student at the University of Missouri. “It’s mostly out of habit, but even after a few months, it still hurts me to see other girls writing on his wall or posting pictures with him.” Despite this proclamation, don’t worry ladies: doing any (or all) of the above will definitely help you have the most disastrous breakup ever.
2. Constantly Calling and Texting Him
While you were together, I’m sure you talked to your boyfriend on a daily basis, seemingly about nothing. But once you’re not able to do that, you realize how important it was to you. So what’s the solution? If you want to have a disastrous breakup, it’s continuing to call and text your ex-boyfriend! He’s still interested in what you ate for breakfast, how your exam went, and the relationship drama between your roommate and her boyfriend, right? Wrong! Trust me, he doesn’t care. Yes, he cares about you and hopes that you are doing well, but the relationship is over, which means he will probably ignore the majority of your texts and calls. And really, does that help you get over things? “My ex-girlfriend continued to call and text me a lot after I broke up with her,” says Payam, a student at the University of Illinois. “I felt bad because I knew she was hurting, but at the same time it really annoyed me, and it made things much harder for both of us because we couldn’t move on.” To achieve a horrible breakup, continue to torture yourself by calling and texting him, even though there is absolutely no change in your relationship, which is, of course, broken up.
3. Forcing Your Friends to Choose Sides
Maybe you two go to college together, or even met in high school, but chances are you share at least a few of the same friends. Even if you had a relatively mutual breakup, I doubt you’re excited at the idea of your girl friends hanging out with your ex. “My friend and my ex-boyfriend were really close, so they continued to hang out after we broke up,” says Mallory, a student at Boston College. “I used to stalk her to find out what he was doing, how he was feeling, and if he was hooking up with other girls. It made her think I was using her, and it drove me absolutely insane.” If you want to make sure your breakup is as big of a disaster as possible, force your friends to pick sides, annoy his friends until they choose your side, and use your friends as spies to monitor what he’s doing now that he’s single. Trust me, you’ll be devastated in no time.
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4. Using His Family as an Ally
When you were his girlfriend, your ex-boyfriend probably introduced you to his family, and you grew close to them. Maybe you sent his parents birthday cards or even joined his family on a vacation. Regardless, you were surethey liked you, and now you need their help. “I’m embarrassed to admit this, but I really missed my boyfriend, and I wanted to get back together,” says Hannah, a student at the University of San Diego. “I called his mom a few times to see if she would talk to him and somehow convince him to get back together with me. She was obviously kind to me, but I could tell she was a little put out by my request.” In any case, if his mom doesn’t agree, then turn to his dad, his sister, his brother, his cousin, etc. – the list is endless. As long as you continuously annoy them, I mean, keep in touch, chances are you will find an ally. And, your ex-boyfriend definitely won’t realize what you’re doing; he will just think his entire family suddenly had an epiphany about their love for you! Seriously though, if you’re reading this and nodding your head, then you’re worse off than I thought. The only thing stalking his family will do is reaffirm your ex-boyfriend’s decision to end his relationship with you.
5. Starting a Relationship with One of His Bros
Whether it’s a good friend, a frat brother, a biological brother, whatever, it doesn’t matter: friends are off-limits to exes. However, being the smart woman that you are, you may have noticed that guys don’t necessarily have the same ‘bro-code’ as girls do. Even if they did, guys have a hard time rejecting a beautiful girl, regardless of her relationship history with their best friend. “I was really angry that my boyfriend ended our relationship, and I couldn’t figure out why,” says Georgie, a student at Rowan University. “The best revenge, in my opinion, was to hook up with his best friend. I knew he’d be upset, and really that’s all I wanted.” If you want to take things up a notch, not only should you hook up with his friend, but you should also consider starting an actual relationship. That way, your ex-boyfriend will be forced to see you on a regular basis, to watch you fawn all over his friend, and even wonder if you had something going on with his friend while you two were together. Basically, you’ll ruin a friendship, make yourself look bad, hurt an innocent outsider, and make your ex-boyfriend despise you. To sum up, you will have created a truly disastrous breakup.
Breakups are hard, but there are definitely ways to make them harder. If you’re looking to be absolutely crushed, then do all, or even one, of the above. You’re bound to have the most disastrous breakup ever, and to never get over your ex-boyfriend. Mission accomplished, collegiettes!
Sources:
College students from across the country